Just a Mazel Tov Shout Out....

Just thought I shouldn't ignore the many, many mazel tovs in the Jblogosphere:

Jerusalem Stoned, Mekubal/The Rabbi's Wife, and Sporadic Intelligence on the birth of their baby boys!

Shades of Grey, Musing Maidel, and SiBaW on their engagements!

Chana on her upcoming marriage!

As a Yiddishism expresses it so perfectly: Oif Simchos- or in Hebrew- let's continue to hear Besurot Tovot!

The Israeli Mothers' Club

This month, I initiated myself into a new exclusive club. The initiation rites were frustratingly annoying, as intiation rites usually are, but once you are in, you're in for life- or at least for what seems like a life sentence.

What did I do to get inducted into this exclusive club? Well, it's not really what I did, but rather what my daughter did, and rather not what she did, but what was done to her. You see, I joined the IMC- Israeli Mothers' Club. This club involves all mommies, Imas, Mamas, and other assorted names, who are now living with their children in Israel.

What is this induction rite of which I speak? Well, the classical one of course. It's a four letter word that might be one of those 10 plagues that God struck Egypt with in days gone by. And yes, my daughter had it.

Yes, I freaked out. No, I had dealt with it before. Yes, I still freaked out. Yes, I called my former neighbor, the Ganenet, who responded with those famous acceptance words: Welcome to the IMC. You're in it for life now.

And then she proceeded to tell me how to handle the scourge that had taken over my house, and most heads in the house as well.

And then I cried. Because, I don't know if I can do this- be the Israeli mother that my kids will probably expect me to be- capable, unflappable, courageous, that strong and comfortable shoulder to lean on, and lap to hug and cuddle.

If I can't even handle a common pest, how could I deal with the greater things that go along with being an Israeli Ima? What will I do one day when a future son turns 18? What will I do on my daughter's first day of real gan in the Israeli school system? And there are so many more milestones that I don't even know about in being an Ima here in this Holy Land?

If a little tiny thing like this moves me to tears- what will be?

But for now, I squared my shoulders, and dealt with it. Rosemary shampoo and conditioner, nice fine toothed combs- and a clean household once again. Welcome to the IMC, you're in it for life. Hatzlacha Rabba.

Missing My Sundays

Work and school have bogged me down for the time being- my faithful Google reader is waiting with many stars for all the Jblogosphere posts out there that I would like to comment on, but alas, the hours never come.
And for that, I miss my Sundays. I miss that day of the week where I could catch up on work, relax, and generally enjoy my day. I could have off from work, spend time with my daughter and husband- you know the drill.

So I'm going to live vicariously through you. Whatcha doing this Sunday?

Integration in Israel Part Three

The second thing that happened to me was that a neighbor called me about a certain gan that was opening up in my neighborhood. It has a specific style of learning, of which I'm an advocate for, and she wanted to know if it would be suited for her child.

I told her my opinion, but added in a statement in that I felt that at her child's age, language would probably be an important thing to learn in the year- I felt that her child should go to a Hebrew gan, to better get a grasp on Ivrit.

She told me that that was her first inclination also, to send to a transitional, or Hebrew-speaking gan. But she felt that the style of learning in the new Gan would be better for her child.
So, she switched.

I later met another neighbor, who's child was registered originally for this specific new gan. I mentioned that I had just recommended another mother to this gan. She replied that she had switched her child out of it- why?
Language. She felt that her child should go to the Hebrew speaking gan that I recommended to my first neighbor.

So should I go back and stress the importance of Hebrew? Are there different opinions on this issue?

How early is too early to learn a language?

Why should I feel I should sacrifice an excellent learning style just to learn Hebrew?

This whole gan registration time is making me nuts, honestly. Integration isn't so easy after all.

A Jewish Student Speaks

I don't usually delve into politics- but I thought this article, posted on Israel National News (Arutz Sheva) was kind of cool. It's about a lone Jewish high school student which marched alongside Arab-American students protesting Israel.

Reporters asked him [the Jewish student] afterwards about his unusual presence, and he explained, “I came out because I want to defend Israel… They [the soldiers attempting to divert the flotilla ships - ed.] were attacked, and they had the right to defend [themselves]. These people [on the boats] were not humanitarians; their ship was armed with knives, batons, and all kinds of things to attack the Israelis with. There is a naval blockade on Gaza, and they [the soldiers] were just doing their job of enforcing it… Hamas is a terrorist organization trying to kill Israelis.”
Asked if he is affiliated with any group, he said, “Just Judaism and Israel, that’s it."
.........
Another Arab-speaking American explained, “The only reason Israel is doing this is because they got kicked out from, uh, the German whatever, whatever happened to them. So they’re trying to take out their anger on someone else.” Asked about the Bible and the Jewish presence in the Land of Israel since the times of King Solomon, he lowered his voice and said, “I don’t know about that.”

Check it out here with a video.

Integration in Israel Part Two

After having posted about the integration issues that Americans who have chosen to live in Israel face regarding their kids, two things happened to me.

One, I re-evaluated my choice for my daughters' first gan several times. I originally had chosen a gan that I thought would be wonderful for her, if not the total, absolute best, because that was what was out there that I thought suited her and our lifestyles.

Then someone else suggested a gan that would probably be the total absolute best gan out there. Problem is, that the gan is not a religious gan, but rather a gan to which religious people send their children. (ie, it's not a Bais Yaakov, but rather an Iriyah gan, to which those who are Dati Leumi or Mizrachi send their children, with a few Charedim thrown in the mix.)

As I investigated more into this gan, I found that it would probably be a wonderful place for my daughter, but for one problem: future Bais Yaakov schools would probably ask why I had sent her there, due to the fact that it is not a Bais Yaakov gan. (There were other small problems as well, like logistics and such.)

And so, I nixed that idea, and went back to my first opinion.

Now the question that still lingers in my mind: was I right to make that decision? If I wasn't afraid of public opinion, would I have sent her there? She probably would have an awesome year there, and would grow and gain in ways that my first choice gan would not be able to give her.

I can't fight the system on my own- to explain to a Bais Yaakov, which already looks down on me for being American, and for working at a job that not many mothers work at, why I sent my daughter to a gan that's not Bais Yaakov- would be far too hard for me to handle.

Yet I still wonder- should I have taken the risk, for my daughter's education's sake?

Third part coming soon….

Israel Through Different Eyes

I recently hosted a good friend of mine who was visiting here for two weeks. As I'm in school and in work full time, I wasn't around much to show her the Israel ropes, but I figured that a basic level of Hebrew from American schools, plus the fact of her being Jewish and having visited Israel before, would be enough for her to get around touring this fair country.

It was enough- but I realized that there are so many things I've learned since I came here- things that I think are basic to anyone living in Israel, but not at all basic to those coming from America. Like, how not to take an Arab taxi, and how to pay the correct amount for a Jewish taxi.

How to stand while holding on to a swinging bus (is it true that all bus drivers are former tank drivers from the army?), and be able to punch your cartisiya, hold a baby, and fold a stroller while finding your seat.

How to navigate the winding streets of Yerushalayim, and how to find my way, basically, in the Old City. How to find the best stores to shop in, and how to find American salad dressing in Israel (not as hard as it used to be, but still hard).
How to adjust to the rest break in the middle of the day, and to learn that afternoon in Israel means after 5:00 PM, not after 12:00 PM as previously thought. Morning is MORNING with a capital M; starting days at 6:00 is common.

How to smile when you see that little one with a baggie containing their shopping list and the money necessary to purchase it, walking their way with small steps to the local grocery store, instead of freaking out that a child that young is going unaccompanied.

I guess there is a lot to learn in Israel- but oh, so much to love. Come back soon and visit again!

Meeting your Match

"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match...find me a find, catch me a catch."

Is that what singles are looking for? A catch? A find?

A woman once came to Rebbitzen Esther Jungreis, looking to meet 'the one'. When asked what she was looking for, she answered, "Well, you know Rebbitzen, I'm looking for the big 7. Money, brains, beauty, athletic, a sense of humor, talented, and adventurous." (Or something like that.)

The Rebbitzen responded that her big 7 all equaled 0 if not paired with a good heart. Because that should be number one. Without a good heart, one can't possibly be a good husband or wife, or even a good friend- which is what marriage should start off on.

So, meeting the right one can't be just a matter of finding the best find- like bragging about securing a place in an Ivy League college, a top yeshiva, or a top seminary. It has to be deeper than that- no matter whether or not a mother wants her child to marry a doctor. That doctor may have a prestigious job, but does that guarantee happiness?

When I met Mr. NMF, I was convinced he had a good heart. I had dated people before him, and none responded as kindly or as sensitively towards issues as he did. I saw in him a truly good person, which is something I desperately wanted in a marriage partner.

So search out that good heart- that Lev Tov- and I can almost guarentee you that you'll be happy with your true 'find'.

Speaking of Shidduchim- B4S, Shades of Grey, and FnF have gotten together to create a 'best of the shidduch blogosphere' offline. Feel free to browse through your favorite blogs and pick your favorites! Submit it here!

School or Work

Time truly seems to fly as stop speed many times, and yet other times crawl.
(Shavuot was nice, thanks for asking, and my pareve cheesecake was praised beyond my milchig one.)

Some people I know are content to stay in school forever. Knowledge for knowledge sakes' they cry, saying that they love the learning process, they love stretching their minds over homework and tests, and they love the research that goes along with learning new things. They like the teachers, the coffee stands, the quick meals or chocolate pick-me-ups, and the classrooms with their internet.

I actually used to be this way- I liked the atmosphere in school, the quest for mind-broadening and the teachers who opened doors to me for a new universe.

Isn't that a Talmid Chacham's love as well- constant study, growth, learning, knowledge of Torah- although they also have a motivation in that Torah study is considered like all the other mitzvos, it sustains the world, and in the fact that they are obligated to do it?

Yet lately, I have been finding myself wanting to finish school, acquire the knowledge and head into the workforce of my choice. There are those- as a blogger once told me- who hate school with a passion, and would much rather be working. They would be happy to get the knowledge they need, and go to their future job and get trained in there- rather than settle for tests, classrooms, and that water fountain that tastes metallic.

Guess it takes all people to enjoy the world. Good luck on your paths- you'll need it.

Riding the Train (or Bus)- It's all Good

Sometimes, I have a really bad day. That seems to happen once in a while, where everything that can go right goes wrong, and some other things besides.
It was on one of those days that I boarded my second bus, heading to my third, and last bus of the day, and all I wanted was to get home to my daughter. The driver pulled up to the stop I was supposed to get off on, and the third bus that I was supposed to take pulled up right behind. Great, I thought. I'll just get off, and get on. Easy.

Yet for some reason, the bus driver hesitated while opening the second door of the bus, and as I disembarked, my third bus drove away, in a trail of dust.

My first, gut reaction was, how not fair could one day be. My second reaction was, that maybe, if I had reacted sooner, I could have gotten the driver to open the door faster, and I would be on my bus, instead of at the bus stop.

But my third thought brought it into perspective. I said to myself (and I don't do these type of conversations often), who are you kidding. Hashem didn't want you on that bus, that's why you aren't on it. He's running the routes, he's guiding the trains, the buses, the planes- and if you're not on that bus, it's because you shouldn't be. If I would have gotten the driver's attention, I probably would have still missed the bus- because it wasn't in that Divine plan. So it was meant to be, and so it is.

And as my mind came to a peace of mind, knowing that G-d had wanted it this way- my eyes lifted, and I saw another, of the same number, bus pull up directly in front of me- mostly empty. And as I boarded, I realized my lesson of the day- it's G- d calling the shots, and all is Gam Zu L'Tova.

Chag Sameach all!