Integration in Israel Part Three

The second thing that happened to me was that a neighbor called me about a certain gan that was opening up in my neighborhood. It has a specific style of learning, of which I'm an advocate for, and she wanted to know if it would be suited for her child.

I told her my opinion, but added in a statement in that I felt that at her child's age, language would probably be an important thing to learn in the year- I felt that her child should go to a Hebrew gan, to better get a grasp on Ivrit.

She told me that that was her first inclination also, to send to a transitional, or Hebrew-speaking gan. But she felt that the style of learning in the new Gan would be better for her child.
So, she switched.

I later met another neighbor, who's child was registered originally for this specific new gan. I mentioned that I had just recommended another mother to this gan. She replied that she had switched her child out of it- why?
Language. She felt that her child should go to the Hebrew speaking gan that I recommended to my first neighbor.

So should I go back and stress the importance of Hebrew? Are there different opinions on this issue?

How early is too early to learn a language?

Why should I feel I should sacrifice an excellent learning style just to learn Hebrew?

This whole gan registration time is making me nuts, honestly. Integration isn't so easy after all.

Integration in Israel Part Two

After having posted about the integration issues that Americans who have chosen to live in Israel face regarding their kids, two things happened to me.

One, I re-evaluated my choice for my daughters' first gan several times. I originally had chosen a gan that I thought would be wonderful for her, if not the total, absolute best, because that was what was out there that I thought suited her and our lifestyles.

Then someone else suggested a gan that would probably be the total absolute best gan out there. Problem is, that the gan is not a religious gan, but rather a gan to which religious people send their children. (ie, it's not a Bais Yaakov, but rather an Iriyah gan, to which those who are Dati Leumi or Mizrachi send their children, with a few Charedim thrown in the mix.)

As I investigated more into this gan, I found that it would probably be a wonderful place for my daughter, but for one problem: future Bais Yaakov schools would probably ask why I had sent her there, due to the fact that it is not a Bais Yaakov gan. (There were other small problems as well, like logistics and such.)

And so, I nixed that idea, and went back to my first opinion.

Now the question that still lingers in my mind: was I right to make that decision? If I wasn't afraid of public opinion, would I have sent her there? She probably would have an awesome year there, and would grow and gain in ways that my first choice gan would not be able to give her.

I can't fight the system on my own- to explain to a Bais Yaakov, which already looks down on me for being American, and for working at a job that not many mothers work at, why I sent my daughter to a gan that's not Bais Yaakov- would be far too hard for me to handle.

Yet I still wonder- should I have taken the risk, for my daughter's education's sake?

Third part coming soon….

School or Work

Time truly seems to fly as stop speed many times, and yet other times crawl.
(Shavuot was nice, thanks for asking, and my pareve cheesecake was praised beyond my milchig one.)

Some people I know are content to stay in school forever. Knowledge for knowledge sakes' they cry, saying that they love the learning process, they love stretching their minds over homework and tests, and they love the research that goes along with learning new things. They like the teachers, the coffee stands, the quick meals or chocolate pick-me-ups, and the classrooms with their internet.

I actually used to be this way- I liked the atmosphere in school, the quest for mind-broadening and the teachers who opened doors to me for a new universe.

Isn't that a Talmid Chacham's love as well- constant study, growth, learning, knowledge of Torah- although they also have a motivation in that Torah study is considered like all the other mitzvos, it sustains the world, and in the fact that they are obligated to do it?

Yet lately, I have been finding myself wanting to finish school, acquire the knowledge and head into the workforce of my choice. There are those- as a blogger once told me- who hate school with a passion, and would much rather be working. They would be happy to get the knowledge they need, and go to their future job and get trained in there- rather than settle for tests, classrooms, and that water fountain that tastes metallic.

Guess it takes all people to enjoy the world. Good luck on your paths- you'll need it.

Integration

No, not calculus. Integrating as a new olah into Israeli society.

That was the topic of a lecture I heard on the subject by a renowned educator, on how to help your children integrate into the Israeli school system. One of the major components that was stressed was the problems facing children who do not have the opportunity to learn Hebrew before entering the primary grades. Without a solid language base, these children have a tendency to turn off, to be misdiagnosed with attention problems, and to be correctly diagnosed with behavioral and social problems that result from the simple fact of a lack of understanding.

For American families, this provides a path that they must follow, if they want their children to swim with the rest of the fish. Consequently, chief among the worries of the parents attending this lecture was the fact that they did not wish their children to forget their English- to be able to communicate fluently with relatives, grandparents, and frankly, their own parents.

That is a major point- but as I continued to think about it, I realized the educators were right. It can only hurt a child to place them in a situation where they don't understand, or they have minimal understanding, in the language that is spoken by most of the country.

Seeing my work mates flow freely between Hebrew and English- even though they aren't American born, gives me hope that my future children will still have the English language skills needed to succeed in certain professions here in Israel, as well as just for me. So if I ask questions in English, and they answer in Hebrew- they will still be okay- with extra tutoring in reading and writing.

One family in the lecture piped up that they read two storybooks to their children every night- one in Hebrew, and one in English. That way, everyone wins.
As the educator ended off- he has never seen any child have problems going from the Israeli school system to the American one- besides for some small reading and writing issues, that are resolved rapidly.

So, integration isn't so bad after all (despite what I remember from calculus class). It may be the chance my future children need to help them succeed.

Chinuch Atzmai Part Two

I don't know how many of my readers actually read this post when I put it up a while back: The Chinuch Atzmai Situation, but according to the news recently, the classes will no longer be separate after Pesach. It seems that the situation went to a Bais Din, chosen by R' Nosson Tzvi Finkel, head of the Mir, and they made the decision to join the classes. It also seems that the 'Americans' who were upset by this removed funding from the school as well.

Over Pesach though, I had the opportunity to discuss with someone who has been in that neighborhood for 15 years. She mentioned to me several points. The actions and behaviors of some of the 'Americans' living in the community were a major problem. These 'Americans' were only sojourning in Israel, as a sort of fad, and as such, they felt they could bring America into Israel. So, these 'Americans' became rather cliquish, and as such, the Israelis felt that they had no wish to integrate into society, and thus the situation developed.

Problem was, they didn't ask them whether they would like a separate class, and they lumped all 'Americans' into one category- if you had a US passport, you were in the second class, whether you or your children were a bad influence or not. And, punishing the children for the parents' problem is not a solution.

But the other side was approached as well. Sometimes by an American living here for a while, they change via osmosis. One who might be extremely materialistic now may not be in 5 years. So giving these people the opportunity to change might be useful. 15 years ago, there were only a handful of 'Americans'- and now there are much more. Yet, they still might need the room to change.

I don't know how many of my readers will understand what I'm talking about in this. There is such a concept of growing in spirituality while living in Yerushalayim, in Israel. Those who have lived here long enough, raised children here- are more sensitive to that, and more protective of any influences that may change the delicate balance here.

How does one deal with those who are only sojourning in the land- not really interested in this sort of life, and are planning on moving back to the US soon? And, the repercussions and stereotypes reflect badly on those Americans, like myself, who want to integrate and remain in society. In the end- these people are here to stay, and the decision reflects as such.

I admire those who can maintain a high level of spirituality while living in Israel, but I, as all people who didn't grow up with it, need to merge slowly, and hope to be given the chance to change and grow. I hope one day to look back on the other side and say that I successfully integrated here, but there will be many hurdles, like this one, to overcome before that.

The Workforce

As I heard someone mention to me, since the recession and the extreme financial situation that the American public finds itself in, those women who might have stayed at home and never used their degrees that they worked hard to pursue, might have to leave their house and join the workforce.

Some girls, despite the fact that they get their 'degree' (sometimes an easy CLEP degree, or one in a field they never plan to go further in- like Humanities, or Psychology) in order to make their parents happy, or to have something to do, all they really want to do is be a mommy and stay at home with their kids and house.

Is that wrong? I wouldn't advocate it for myself, as I would probably go out of my mind with boredom, but for these women, their home is a full time job- and that is true. Raising one's children can be a full time job, if one dedicates themselves to it wholeheartedly. According to ABC News- a stay at home mom should get paid at least $138,646 per year. The numbers were based upon a mom doing 92 hours of work per week. That's a lot of work!!!

In Israel- it seems that many girls embark on the vocational track of things without a degree, or they use their degree almost as soon as they get it. But there are still some who would gladly stay home full time, but because of the economic situation that their family is in, they feel obligated to help in the support of their home.

How can one balance both home and job? Well-that's a major question, one that many find very hard to answer.
Either you trust your children into the care of a babysitter, which is never a perfect substitute for Mom, or you somehow spend your days dashing from home to work to home again- an exhausting lifestyle.

My own mother, while raising my siblings, found herself subbing in the morning while they had school, studying for her classes while driving them to and from school, and taking care of them till they were asleep, after which she would attend her own grad school at night, and then do the whole day over again. Exhausting- no?

Working at home is sometimes an option- what SecretariesinIsrael tries to do for those in Israel who don't mind burning the midnight oil- literally. They work from 4-12- the American hours. And, there are medical secretaries, proofreaders and editors, and Internet jobs. Computer jobs oftentimes have a work at home option, as does graphic design, bookkeeping, or other alternatives.

The choice comes into play when you look at that child's precious face and say- how can I ever leave? It's a tough choice to make.

Chinuch Atzmai Situation

I've been debating on and off whether to write this post or not.

I would like to state first that I don't know the entire story- as I don't live in this neighborhood- and I have tried to verify if this is true- most sources whom I've talked to have said that it is true.

The only news that reported it was Yeshiva World News- but that makes sense, as it is a problem for the frum Jewish community.

I would also like to remind my readers that I am newly married- I don't have children yet. If I did, I wouldn't want them to be treated like this. I was appalled and shocked when I read the first article, and the second only escalated my fears on how my children might be treated if I raise them in Israel. I spoke to one of my own rabbanim, who said that although it is wrong, the situation should clear itself up, and my children would probably not experience what a lawyer-friend of mine called, "a clear example of segregation and discrimination in today's times."

Such an action could probably lead to people suing one another in the US. A quote from the articles illustrates the 'excuses' given for the segregation.

In addition, the parents of the American girls also signed a document to accept the current realities, namely the separate classes, and now, in the middle of the year, undoing such a reality is not advisable, considering it takes weeks and weeks of intensive work to set up the classes. At present, there are four parallel classes so such a move would impact many many girls.

In short, the separation of the Americans was in no way intended as a punishment, but as a respectable solution to the fact that the children have differences, have difficulty speaking with Israeli girls, and fit together better than attempted integration at this time. We want the girls in the school, and in time, they will acclimate to Eretz Yisrael. The school placed their best teacher in the American class, not wishing to compromise their education in anyway. One can easily understand when there are 10 girls in a classroom who naturally speak English, their native tongue; it does result in a pedagogic and social problem in the classroom. We spoke with rabbonim, experienced professionals and many experts before making a decision as to addressing the social & language gap.

Here are the articles. I'm going to let my readers decide for themselves.
This is the first article printed.
This was the second, and the third. This was the school, and Chinuch Atzmai's response in the fourth- here.

One thing is for sure- as an American planning to stay here in Israel- this shocked me, and made me worry for the future. I hope this will be resolved by the talented rabbaim working on this case- like R' Yitzchak Berkowitz, Rav of Sanhedria Murchevet.

Poll on Israel- #2

Here's the second, fairly interesting poll. Good news is, a bunch more people voted - more than double my last poll. Bad news- we only got 1 vote for the really fun answer :)

Should students take a year off to study in Israel?


Alright, as one can clearly see- the majority of voters (9) voted that students (notice that includes both male and female) should only go for a year in Israel if they can afford it. This is a fairly reasonable answer- as the voters are saying in essence, that there is something about a "Year In Israel" that America or somewhere else can't give, but no family should be forced into it due to societal pressure or other such thing. If they can't afford it, they shouldn't go.

The next runnerup was that 5 voters said, yes, they should go no matter what. Wow. That shows that these voters believe that even if a family can't afford it, they should send their children to Israel because there is something special about this place. Or, it means they didn't see the other 'yes' choice. I'd like to ask these voters how families should raise money to send their children? Or- how do they propose that their children should get scholarships? There are many families overseas who would love to know the answers to those questions. I am impressed, though that the 2 highest categories were 'yes' answers- that there is something in Eretz Yisroel that can't be gotten anywhere else. Wow.

We've got 2 outright nos, and only one (unfortunately) who said it was a necessary prerequisite for shidduchim :)

Let's face it: not everyone can afford to come. But for those who can- welcome, and we hope you are enjoying your stay!

The Ganenet

Some of the most dedicated, influential people, the most creative and innovative, the ones with the most patience, and the ones who have hearts of gold- those people deserve our undying thanks.

Yes, I'm talking about the ganenet- the preschool teacher or playgroup leader.

These women have a major influence on our children- they see them from 9-1 every day, teach them parsha, middos, sharing, colors, alphabet, numbers....you name it, they teach it.

They make art projects every week, fit to display on the fridge, and these projects actually make the kid's scribbles look like a work of art, instead of scrap paper.

They cook cookies or treats, and each child feels like they did something.

They oftentimes notice problems long before the parent does- like a child going cross-eyed, or an aggressive behavior that could be stopped.

And they do it all with a smile, a hug, and a praise for the child who did nothing more than learn one color or one letter.

Brachos? Learnt from the ganenet. Davening? Again, the same. And when your child actually knows this week's parsha is Lech L'cha- who taught them that? The ganenet.

You'll say, but I teach them sharing and middos- I'm their parent. Yes, but the ganenet does more. Despite having 14-20 kids to focus on, she teaches everyone of them to stop at stoplights and look both ways. And, she teaches them how to interact with others, who are not members of their own family.

Ganenets deserve the ultimate thanks. Thank you for educating our children so they can grow up to be mentchen. Thank you for all you do. I wish I could have as much patience and love as you do.