Learning to Say No...or Yes

The title is rather ambivelant, don't you think?

But it actually makes sense to me. You see, this week, I'm bogged down with responsibilities, mostly chesed, that I've taken on. And I was wondering to myself whether or not I should have said no to some of them.

For example, I'm hosting a women's gathering in my house (read N'shei, for those who know these things) today. I have to drop off something else far away from my house today for someone who needs it. I do have a job, and I'm doing that too. Oh, and did I mention I'm hosting guests for Shabbos? And sleeping guests? And cooking a meal or two for a new mother? And I'm cooking for the annual Melava Malka?

Now. Each one of these projects is worthwhile in itself. And, I did say yes to everything, so I am going to do it all. And, I'm happy about doing it all, that I have the chance to do so much chesed. So, that's the yes factor in all of this.

The no factor is that I still have a house to run, a job to do, and a baby to take care of. And, I didn't have to take on everything this week specifically. I could have said no, and had a slightly easier and less draining week. I would have had more time for myself, possibly, and would be a bit more relaxed about everything. So that's the no side.

All chesed is giving of one's self. Giving of the innermost side of one's self, that one wants to help others and is showing it by using their self and their talents to help others. So who wouldn't want to do that? That's why most people say yes when asked for a chesed job.

But there are times when it's necessary to say no. Add a couple more jobs on my plate and I would have had to say no to a few 'extracurricular' activities. And, I would have felt bad about that, because I do want to say yes. But sometimes one has to say no.

It's all about finding a happy medium.

The Ganenet

Some of the most dedicated, influential people, the most creative and innovative, the ones with the most patience, and the ones who have hearts of gold- those people deserve our undying thanks.

Yes, I'm talking about the ganenet- the preschool teacher or playgroup leader.

These women have a major influence on our children- they see them from 9-1 every day, teach them parsha, middos, sharing, colors, alphabet, numbers....you name it, they teach it.

They make art projects every week, fit to display on the fridge, and these projects actually make the kid's scribbles look like a work of art, instead of scrap paper.

They cook cookies or treats, and each child feels like they did something.

They oftentimes notice problems long before the parent does- like a child going cross-eyed, or an aggressive behavior that could be stopped.

And they do it all with a smile, a hug, and a praise for the child who did nothing more than learn one color or one letter.

Brachos? Learnt from the ganenet. Davening? Again, the same. And when your child actually knows this week's parsha is Lech L'cha- who taught them that? The ganenet.

You'll say, but I teach them sharing and middos- I'm their parent. Yes, but the ganenet does more. Despite having 14-20 kids to focus on, she teaches everyone of them to stop at stoplights and look both ways. And, she teaches them how to interact with others, who are not members of their own family.

Ganenets deserve the ultimate thanks. Thank you for educating our children so they can grow up to be mentchen. Thank you for all you do. I wish I could have as much patience and love as you do.