OII #17- It's a Gemach, Not a Store

Well, I'm basically settled in, and I started to explore the neighborhood. But I had a secret confession to make: I used to live next door, literally, to a major cheap supermarket. So, I was determined to find a way to do my shopping in the same manner- convenient, close, and cheap.
Little did I know that those things are possibly oxymorons.

At first, I took the bus ride to the nearest large and cheap supermarket, thinking that with all the money I'll save, I can make up for the bus ride and delivery charges. This was true, but a major hassle.

Then, I found a smaller, not as cheap, but still large supermarket, a short bus ride away, that I would also have to pay for delivery. Not financially worthwhile, except on the days they have major sales.

I tried the store advertised in the local circular, but although they have sales, the other items are inflated to much higher prices.

The local market suited me fine, as it was a makolet with it all, but I heard rumors about the Arab men working there, and that just scared me off.
So where to shop?

Then I heard about the other local makolet. It was stocked with American products, albeit that the prices were sky high, but everyone, and I mean everyone, shopped there.
Why? What was the hype? I had to go and check it out.

The first odd thing that struck me was that the store owner was manning the checkout.
The second odd thing was that he said hello to me, and welcomed me to the neighborhood.
The third odd thing was that every one, all the workers, were Jewish, and not only that, but were extraordinarily helpful.
Even odder- they all spoke English.

So I shopped there. And continuing with the oddities, I was subjected to the help asking me if I needed any.

When I checked out, I asked for delivery, and how much it would cost. "Free," he remarks to me, asking where I live in the next breath.

There was a small notecard box next to him, and I immediately realized that this was a store where people shopped on credit. If they had money, or they didn't have money, everyone was able to buy food, and then pay it off when they needed to.

I remarked on my unusualy experience with the Rebbitzen of the neighborhood, and she informed me that the owner has a heart of gold. He can't stand to see anyone go hungry, and he allows all who need to pay over many months. "It's a 'gemach', not a store," she told me. He just keeps on giving, and those loyal customers who actually do pay are keeping his business afloat for those who can't.

Mi K'Amcha Yisroel- where a storekeeper uses his entire shop to perform mitzvos. May he continue to have success in his business.

Real Hiatus and Lost Items

Alright- here's the actual hiatus post. Until we get Internet hooked up in our new apartment, I'm offline. I should get it soon, but as the phone company won't actually install our phone line until Wednesday, Internet access doesn't seem likely for at least 2 weeks.
So, I'll miss the J-blogosphere- and I hope to be back really soon.

I'll leave you with a parting anecdote.

In the scurry and hurry of moving, moving again, really moving this time, and actually moving, our belongings have been transferred through so many boxes and suitcases we barely know what is what.

So, it wasn't surprising that today, we couldn't find our passports. Now that's really scary, since we are not Olim yet (new immigrants), and our passport is the only means of identification accepted in this country. We wouldn't be able to use the bank, or deal with any of our new apartment issues, or sign anything, or drive anything. So, we looked. And looked. And looked again. Nothing.

I started to panic, thinking we might have taken them with us somewhere and lost them, and they weren't even in the suitcases at all. Mr. NMF was searching our new apartment, while I was searching our old one, and both of us were worrying.

So what did I do? I donated money to the Kupa of R' Meir Baal Haness.

For those who don't know, R' Meir Baal Haness was a figure in the Gemara who is famous nowadays for saying that whoever calls out to Hashem in his name and gives charity in his merit will get what they are asking for. He's buried in Teveria (Tiberias) and I've visited his grave several times. His wife was the famous Bruria, a brilliant and wise woman in the Gemara.

Some people, including me, whenever they lose an object that is precious to them, donate money in R' Meir Baal Haness's name, and say this:

"Amar Rabi Binyomin, Hakol Bcheskas Sumin Ad sheHakadosh Boruch Hu Meir es Aynayhem." "Min Hacha? 'Vatifkach HaShem es Ayneha, Vataylech Vatimaleh es Hachaymes."

This means:

"So says Rabbi Binyomin: All is hidden from the eye until Hashem opens our eyes. How do we know? [because it says] 'And Hashem opened her [Hagar's] eyes, and she went and she filled her pitcher.'"

Then, the loshon continues:

"Eloka D'meir Anayni" - "May the God of Rabbi Meir [Baal Haness] answer me"- said three times.

"B'zchus Hatzedoka she'ani Nodayv L'ilui Nishmas Rabi Meir Baal HaNes, Zechuso Yogen Olaynu, L'mtzo es haAvayda sheAvaditi "

"In the zechus of the tzedaka that I will give in the merit of the soul of R' Meir Baal Haness, may his merit last forever, to find the item that I have lost."

So. I gave tzedaka, recited the formula, and the phone rang. Literally just then. I picked up, and Mr. NMF's first words to me were "I found it." Turns out that the passports were hiding in another suitcase, underneath some sefarim.

Anyone else believe in miracles?!

I've had this happen to me many times. I've lost earrings, car keys, cell phones- you name it, I've lost it- and I've found it, usually after giving tzedaka.
Hocus pocus? I highly doubt it. In the zechus of doing a mitzva in R' Meir's name, Hashem opens your eyes to find the object.

So, if you're stuck, try this. I believe it has to be done with a full heart- not just to find your lost object- but I know of many stories like this one. G-d controls everything in this world, down to what we see and what we don't see.

I once asked a teacher of mine that if the world has been explored, every last inch of it, how come we don't know where the Sambatyon river is (the famous river that throws stones except on Shabbos- the one that the 10 lost tribes are hidden behind.)

She answered that G-d doesn't want us to find it, and as such, our eyes are not opened to find it. Only G-d can let us see or not see, even if it is right under our noses.

Has anyone else out there tried this method?

Anyway. Take care, have a good week, and a good rest of the summer. May Hashem open all our eyes to always see and recognize the truth of all things.

Motzei Purim Recap

Just some wonderful thoughts about Purim in E"Y:

I made far too many shalach manos- but they came out beautifully- with a very cute theme. Oh well. I guess I'll have to find a way to use up my leftovers.

I didn't see so many drunkards acting wildly and insanely- I know they probably exist somewhere in Yerushalayim, but I didn't see quite so many.

There was the guy who grabbed Mr. NMF and asked if he was American. When the affirmative reply came back, the guy grabbed his shoulder and said, "Repeat after me: We Want Mashiach Now..."- and he totally didn't look Lubavitch.

There was the other random guy, pushing his twin children in a stroller, who clapped Mr. NMF on the back, and started giving him brachos, one after the other, until I, and this man's wife, pulled them apart.

There were some boys who came collecting, who were obviously drunk- but they knocked on my door when Mr. NMF wasn't home. I didn't check the peephole, and opened it...they started singing quite loudly and entering in the house.....but when I informed them my husband wasn't home, and neither was anyone else except a sleeping baby, they had enough presence of mind to accept the tzedaka money and leave quietly- very mentchlik while drunk.

The Purim seuda was wonderful, and the Divrei Torah were excellent. I learnt the different interpretations of L'Bisumei- and I'm partial to the Rama's approach of just drinking a bit more than usual, and then going to sleep. But, who am I to say anything?

Strange question that came up: Should women drink on Purim- do they have a chiuv to? "Af Hein B'Oso HaNeis"- they were also part of the miracle, so maybe they should drink a small amount. My reply would be that it might not be tznius, but I don't have a source.

Matanos L'Evyonim- this was done true E"Y style. A woman approached a friend of mine and confided in her that she's going collecting for herself on Purim. Why? She has 7 children, mostly learning disabled, a mentally-ill husband, and she can't pay her rent.

So, my friend took it upon herself to raise the money for this family. She figured that if she approached 2,000 people for a small amount, she could raise the money and save this woman the embarassment of going collecting for herself.

So, for 3 days before Purim, the children and parents of my neighborhood collected all over, in yeshivos, in other neighborhoods- they even got the haskama of a well-known rav to boost their credibility.

And, you know what? By Purim night (American- since some donations were American, they gave those on American Purim, and the shekels on Yerushalyim Purim- so that way everyone could fulfill the mitzva) we had raised 4 1/2 months rent. Yasher Koach to all those who donated.

Now my friend is talking about a major campaign to help this family get an apartment of their own- but who knows if that will come to fruition. Meanwhile, we accomplished something big and great, and truly helped someone in need.

Hope everyone had as wonderful a Purim as I did!!

OII #3- Collection with Style

Update on December 3: Today I got another knock- three sweet girls, the oldest not more than 10, collecting for Yad Eliezer- more non-perishables! I love Israel!!

I'm researching on my computer when I hear a knock on the door- no more than a tap.
I open it to find two cute Sephardi girls, with their little brother, neither one older than 8.
They are carrying two shopping bags- half empty, and present me a piece of paper.

It seems that my community is collecting food products (non-perishables) for a family in need of basic items. So, these two kind youngsters have volunteered to collect.

I don't know if they are part of the family in need, or just a friend- but to see two cute kids trying to collect tzedaka- real tzedaka- like basic food products- it just melted my heart.
So I handed them what I could, and wished them Kol Tuv.

Wow- so special. And, it's all done anonymously, with you actually seeing where the "money" is going- it's going into this family's hands- as actual food products- cans of tomato sauce, pititim (couscous), tuna fish- things that a family could actually use.
Kol HaKavod!

Tzedaka- From the Heart

I visited the Kotel (Western Wall) yesterday- to get something else done (story for another post), and of course, before walking through the gates, I needed to check my wallet.
Why, you may ask?

Well, there are at least 20 ladies on the women's side of the Kotel who collect tzedaka there, daily. They could be collecting for themselves, for Hachnosat Kallah, for a yeshiva, for a kollel, or many other such things. I have asked them once or twice who they collect for- but usually it is a cause that I can donate a shekel to, at least, or something like that.

So, I checked my wallet- was assured that I had at least 20 shekel on me, and set out.
Immediately, they asked in their pleading voices for tzedaka. I can't refuse- it's very hard for me to refuse a woman collecting. After all, we have an inner sense of tznius, of busha, (embarassment) of not being in the limelight- if a woman has to go out collecting tzedaka- it means she's usually in dire straights, with no one to help her, and she has no male children or a husband to help either.

So, I handed out a shekel to each one- making sure no one would get more than the others (they notice who gets more or less.)

(Oh, and if you're judging me as to why I only have a shekel per person- I'm sorry- but I also need money for food and lodging...I could try to give more- but usually I can't- as I give to the people who need tzedaka in Geula as well, plus, I can only give a mashehu without asking my husband for permission for more (he usually says yes, but if he's not there....)

Usually, they thank me- and I wish them the best- that they should have hatzlacha, and kol tuv.
And, I mean it. The words come from my heart, as do the money- I want them to be able to give more to the poor, I want them to no longer need tzedaka...

But yesterday, when I gave a shekel to a woman- and wished her all the best- her reply was, "A Shekel? Zeh Lo Kesef. (that's not money.)"

So I told her that was all I had, and she left it at that.

But it hurt. It hurt that she didn't care whether I meant it or not, that all she saw was a girl, probably American, who gives her "just a shekel", and then leaves.

I'm sure she's in pain. I'm sure that she has a very rough life. I'm judging her dan l'kaf zechus that she has so many tzaros in her life that when someone hands her a small bit of tzara, she reacts like that.

I called my mother, another frequent visitor to Israel, to tell her about it- we both sighed on the phone, at the tzara, and the pity on the situation. She told me that someone once threw the shekel back at her- signifying that it was too small a donation.

I guess this is a David HaMelech moment. That when someone lectures you- it's not from that person, it's from Hashem.

Maybe Hashem is telling me I should give more. Maybe Hashem is telling me not to think so highly of myself- that I have money and she doesn't- the wheel of fortune could turn at any moment.

I wish her, and all the other women who are out there collecting- all the best. Kol Tuv, and much Hatzlacha.

Frustrated

Okay, I'm using this blog to vent a little bit.

I read this post on Aidel Knaidel....and it kinda bugged me a bit. I live in a neighborhood where there are not so many young kollel couples- so I don't have much to judge myself against- as to why I'm not pushing a baby stroller yet, or the latest fashions, or the shiur I just HAD to attend- or else be ostracized from the N'shei of the community.

If you do live in those communities- don't get JEALOUS. DO something instead! Read my post about tzedaka- and get involved!! Want a child- help others with children, be a mom for a day- substitute for the amazing ganenet in your neighborhood when she needs help- for free. Work in a soup kitchen, volunteer at Yad Eliezer....the possibilities are endless.

I'm frustrated because I try to view a time without children as a time to help those who have children, as a time to offer my services, because I don't have major demands on my time yet. I'm blessed to be married- and that didn't happen the year after sem either!

So, yeah- I'm slightly frustrated. But I'm grateful for what I have. Thank You Hashem, for giving me the ability to help others, and eventually, be"H, if sometime I need help in the future, I'll have someone who might want to give to me.

Charity Begins At Home

I lived for a couple years in NY, where I met my husband. During that time period, I had occasion to go shopping for clothing, and as is the custom in my family, whenever I buy something new, I have to give away something old. Not necessarily old, just something that doesn't fit, seems to have one too many stains, or something that I bought on sale, intending to wear, yet it never seemed to match anything.

So, I trotted down to my neighbor to ask her where there was a gemach in NY for used clothes. She shrugged her shoulders and said that she doesn't know of any.

So I asked someone else- again, same response.
One person said she knows one family who collects shoes, but not clothing. And the shoes have to be brand new.

I kept asking, and asking- no one seemed to have a clue. There were no drives going on, no advertisements for a giant collecting agency, or for a day to drop gently used clothing off. Nothing.

So, I sent my clothing back to my home town, where there is a dedicated woman who operates a clothing collection out of one room in her house, and sends it to Israel. It's done anonymously, she just receives garbage bags at her front door, and then sends it off.

Shame. I wish I could have given to an NY gemach, but I guess that they are much harder to find.

Israel on the other hand- is totally the opposite. I received a letter just yesterday, advertising the used clothing collection place in my neighborhood. Open up a directory- the Israeli one, or the Newcomer's Guide- and you'll see thousands of gemachs, hundreds of clothing collection agencies- and some for things I never would have thought of. Free loan funds- check. Gowns for chasunas- check.

But have you ever heard of a breast milk gemach? That one startled me a bit- until I heard about the family that runs it.

It seems that there are babies born who's mothers don't have enough milk for them. Not only that, but some of these babies have major allergies, to common food products- making them allergic to most formulas.

So, this family started a gemach. Nursing mothers, who are willing to go on a strict diet (no wheat, soy, sugar, dairy, specific vegetables....) do that for 2-3 days, and then pump extra milk for these babies. The milk goes to this family, where they store it, and then give it to those babies in need. That way, they can live on breast milk, which is perfect for their digestive systems, until they can figure out a way past their allergies.

Who would have thought of this? First of all, the family that did- is exceptional- thinking of something like that, and then implementing it. Second of all- the mothers that do this are also exceptional- not eating their favorite foods, and not for their own child, but for someone else's.

Mi K'amcha Yisroel.

Here are some phenomenal articles about charity in Israel- from Aish.com if you're interested in further reading- and if you're looking for a worthwhile charitable contribution):

The Chicken Lady, Mission to Care, Dining with Dignity, Out of the Mouth of Roni(ZAKA), Jerusalem's Supermen, Henny's Secret (Machlis Family)