Top Ten Things I'm Grateful For

I think it was R' Avigdor Miller who said that one should write a list every once in a while to say thank you to Hashem for all the good He does for us. This can also be applicable to everyone- as everyone has something to be grateful for. In one of R' Shimshon Pincus's books, he says that every mitzvah leads a person to realize something he/she is grateful for. If you see a Mezuzah, and you head to kiss it- be grateful you have a house. If you get something Shatnez-checked- be grateful you have clothing, and so on. Each leads to a way to thank Hashem for all we have.
Without further ado: Top Ten Today (not necessarily in perfect order)

1. Breathing- air- respiration- oxygen
2. My body, with all of it's intricacies, from the organ to the cellular level
3. My Neshama- soul
4. My Parents and Family
5. My Husband
6. My daughter
7. Having a Parnasa in these rough times
8. The world we live in- the sky, the earth, the grass, the trees, the beauty
9. Yerushalayim- the zechus to live here, and this special city
10. The ability to think.

Busy, Busy, Yet Grateful

Busy doesn't even begin to describe it- what with deadlines, school, work, home, house, and family.

Chanukah always has meant to me a time when one could actually celebrate and relax with family. Thanksgiving was a family time too- but due to family members having different dietary requirements (ie, kosher and not) and differing schedules, it wasn't always celebrated, except with the obligatory turkey on sale.

But Chanukah was different. Gathered together, around the menorah as the lighting commenced, the little ones hanging around, my mother playing the piano's sweet tunes- I can't even remember a Chanukah in which my family wasn't together in some shape and form.

That family togetherness is something that I realize doesn't always happen by everyone. In Israel, the kollel men have a weird schedule, in which they come home really early to light the menorah exactly on time, and then go back. It's not like the family gatherings that started at a covenient 7-8 for everyone. But the togetherness is still there.

And that's what I'm thankful for today- the time to reflect on the fact that I have a family, that we do try to come together, and that they all still want to spend time with each other. That in of itself is a miracle- that everyone is willing to spend time together, to join in something so simple- yet so powerful.

So Happy Thanksgiving to all- and a future Happy Chanukah. May we all realize the things that we are most grateful for.

A Small Bit of the Kibbutz

My Ulpan is still going on, and with it they are celebrating the 100th year anniversary of the establishment of the Kibbutz. We have been shown films, text, and other various presentations regarding the establishment of the Kibbutz, Kibbutz life, shared life, living, sleeping, shared education, and the eventual breaks among the Kibbutz and among the movement.

I am definitely not the expert of a Kibbutz. I’ve read Batya Gur’s ‘Murder on a Kibbutz’, which was illuminating, heard the words of various Israeli writers on the subject, and recently watched the documentary film of Ran Tal- ‘Yeldei HaShemesh’.

Ran Tal spoke personally to the group afterwards, and mentioned an interesting point- that before one judges the kibbutz society, and how they lived, with the minimal time spent with parents, and the shared environment in general- one should see that in families where there are problems among the family itself- a broken home, an abusive home, and so on- that the family model is not necessarily perfect either. The Kibbutz model has different problems, but neither model is perfect.

In R’ Mattisyahu Solomon’s recent book, ‘With Hearts Full of Love’, on Chinuch, he discusses the interesting idea that before a Jewish marriage, no one presents the young couple a certificate, or even a training course, saying that they are fit to become parents. He questions why not, and his answer is that he believes that within each person, within in each Jewish marriage, they are equipped with all the necessary tools to educate their future children, albeit if they need advice or so on- but they have the tools necessary.

The kibbutz movement felt to eliminate these problems would be to create this shared environment, to make sure that the children would be educated and so on in the way that they wished, without these problems. I can see their point- from their side, but watching this movie brought tears to my eyes.

To see these young parents not being able to relate to their own children, because they were not brought up with love from their own parents, to not being able to even give them a kiss or a hug from true feeling, simply because they were brought up in the kibbutz lifestyle. To see a sobbing child being brought back to the shared children’s room, and crying for their Ima, until the wee hours of the night, or to stay awake all night, afraid to go to sleep- it’s the saddest thing in the world. To see a child, sneak out of the children’s room, wandering outside in the dark till they found their parent’s room, and then to sleep outside the door, or to clutch their parents’ sheet, but not wake them at all- simply because their parents would bring them back- just to be in the same room with them- it literally made me cry.

For one, I am glad that the Kibbutz movement eventually got rid of shared sleeping spaces- but it taught me something powerful: there is nothing more important in a family than the loving relationship between a parent and child. And how blessed I am to go home to my daughter, to hug her and to kiss her, and to be a true family with her.

Aseret Yemei Teshuva

Rosh Hashana passed here, along with its uncommon three day Yom Tov here in Israel. Even after only a few years here in Israel, I still feel it odd to actually celebrate three days of Yom Tov. After all, most holidays here only last at maximum two days, and we end earlier than outside of Israel, which is especially nice for Pesach.

And now we enter in to a new stage- the Aseret Yemei Teshuva- from Alef of Tishrei of Rosh Hashana to the Yud of Yom Kippur. Along with the buses that have switched their flashing phrase from ‘Shana Tova’ to ‘Gemar Chatimah Tovah’, and the Kaparot stations that have found their way to every street corner, alleyway, and intersection- it also comes a feeling of limbo.

Our jobs from Heaven have been set out for us on Rosh HaShana, the final Din is reiterated on Yom Kippur in clay, and sealed in blood on Hoshana Rabbah. We’re in between, in a bit of limbo, without a concrete stage of life to understand. After all- we try our best during these ten days to just be a bit better- to add in more prayers to our every day ones, to try to do what we would like to do during the rest of the year, but somehow are prevented from doing. But we’re still in limbo- one good thing could just push us over the edge, right into that book of life.

So let’s make a proactive effort. Take on one small thing- one thing to push you over that edge, to try to make you into that better person that you have in your own ideals and dreams. And try it for the rest of these days- see what happens. It’s the little steps that count- and that which can pull us out of limbo and into the Hebrew ‘Chaim’- life and all that it represents.

Gmar Chatima Tovah L’Kulam.

Leaving the Holy Land

No, I'm not leaving- I just got here. But I might be back to visit the good old U.S. of A. sometime in the near future. And you know what?

The thought is making me antsy. Not the good things about it: being able to see friends and relatives again, do some much needed shopping (ie: pick up things that are either only available in the US, or cheaper there- anyone who wishes to help me with this at any time is free to email me), and bring a bit of the Holy Land there. On the other hand, how can I leave Israel?
To not see my blue sky, my crisp white stone buildings- the air, the atmosphere- the general feeling that it impresses on my psyche?

And NBD (should I come up with another name for her now that she's 1 1/2? ) has never been outside of the Holy Land. When I made aliyah with her, the Misrad HaKlita (Ministry of Absorption) asked me when her entry into Israel was, as it was not written in her passport. I replied, "She was born here." They then duly recorded her date of birth as the entry into this special place. Like Yitzchak Avinu, who never left the Holy Land in his lifetime unless instructed by G-d- how can I take here out of here, even for a short time?

There are rabbinic responses listed as to for what reasons one can leave Israel. I think that R' Moshe Feinstein is the posek involved who gave the reasoning that if parents want one to come back to Chutz L'Aaretz to visit- that would be enough of a reason. But the simple truth shows that one needs a pretty good reason to leave Israel.

When all is said and done, I still don't know if we will be leaving or not. But I do know that if we do leave, I will be pining for my Yerushalyim every day that I'm gone.

Integration in Israel Part Three

The second thing that happened to me was that a neighbor called me about a certain gan that was opening up in my neighborhood. It has a specific style of learning, of which I'm an advocate for, and she wanted to know if it would be suited for her child.

I told her my opinion, but added in a statement in that I felt that at her child's age, language would probably be an important thing to learn in the year- I felt that her child should go to a Hebrew gan, to better get a grasp on Ivrit.

She told me that that was her first inclination also, to send to a transitional, or Hebrew-speaking gan. But she felt that the style of learning in the new Gan would be better for her child.
So, she switched.

I later met another neighbor, who's child was registered originally for this specific new gan. I mentioned that I had just recommended another mother to this gan. She replied that she had switched her child out of it- why?
Language. She felt that her child should go to the Hebrew speaking gan that I recommended to my first neighbor.

So should I go back and stress the importance of Hebrew? Are there different opinions on this issue?

How early is too early to learn a language?

Why should I feel I should sacrifice an excellent learning style just to learn Hebrew?

This whole gan registration time is making me nuts, honestly. Integration isn't so easy after all.

Integration in Israel Part Two

After having posted about the integration issues that Americans who have chosen to live in Israel face regarding their kids, two things happened to me.

One, I re-evaluated my choice for my daughters' first gan several times. I originally had chosen a gan that I thought would be wonderful for her, if not the total, absolute best, because that was what was out there that I thought suited her and our lifestyles.

Then someone else suggested a gan that would probably be the total absolute best gan out there. Problem is, that the gan is not a religious gan, but rather a gan to which religious people send their children. (ie, it's not a Bais Yaakov, but rather an Iriyah gan, to which those who are Dati Leumi or Mizrachi send their children, with a few Charedim thrown in the mix.)

As I investigated more into this gan, I found that it would probably be a wonderful place for my daughter, but for one problem: future Bais Yaakov schools would probably ask why I had sent her there, due to the fact that it is not a Bais Yaakov gan. (There were other small problems as well, like logistics and such.)

And so, I nixed that idea, and went back to my first opinion.

Now the question that still lingers in my mind: was I right to make that decision? If I wasn't afraid of public opinion, would I have sent her there? She probably would have an awesome year there, and would grow and gain in ways that my first choice gan would not be able to give her.

I can't fight the system on my own- to explain to a Bais Yaakov, which already looks down on me for being American, and for working at a job that not many mothers work at, why I sent my daughter to a gan that's not Bais Yaakov- would be far too hard for me to handle.

Yet I still wonder- should I have taken the risk, for my daughter's education's sake?

Third part coming soon….

School or Work

Time truly seems to fly as stop speed many times, and yet other times crawl.
(Shavuot was nice, thanks for asking, and my pareve cheesecake was praised beyond my milchig one.)

Some people I know are content to stay in school forever. Knowledge for knowledge sakes' they cry, saying that they love the learning process, they love stretching their minds over homework and tests, and they love the research that goes along with learning new things. They like the teachers, the coffee stands, the quick meals or chocolate pick-me-ups, and the classrooms with their internet.

I actually used to be this way- I liked the atmosphere in school, the quest for mind-broadening and the teachers who opened doors to me for a new universe.

Isn't that a Talmid Chacham's love as well- constant study, growth, learning, knowledge of Torah- although they also have a motivation in that Torah study is considered like all the other mitzvos, it sustains the world, and in the fact that they are obligated to do it?

Yet lately, I have been finding myself wanting to finish school, acquire the knowledge and head into the workforce of my choice. There are those- as a blogger once told me- who hate school with a passion, and would much rather be working. They would be happy to get the knowledge they need, and go to their future job and get trained in there- rather than settle for tests, classrooms, and that water fountain that tastes metallic.

Guess it takes all people to enjoy the world. Good luck on your paths- you'll need it.

Riding the Train (or Bus)- It's all Good

Sometimes, I have a really bad day. That seems to happen once in a while, where everything that can go right goes wrong, and some other things besides.
It was on one of those days that I boarded my second bus, heading to my third, and last bus of the day, and all I wanted was to get home to my daughter. The driver pulled up to the stop I was supposed to get off on, and the third bus that I was supposed to take pulled up right behind. Great, I thought. I'll just get off, and get on. Easy.

Yet for some reason, the bus driver hesitated while opening the second door of the bus, and as I disembarked, my third bus drove away, in a trail of dust.

My first, gut reaction was, how not fair could one day be. My second reaction was, that maybe, if I had reacted sooner, I could have gotten the driver to open the door faster, and I would be on my bus, instead of at the bus stop.

But my third thought brought it into perspective. I said to myself (and I don't do these type of conversations often), who are you kidding. Hashem didn't want you on that bus, that's why you aren't on it. He's running the routes, he's guiding the trains, the buses, the planes- and if you're not on that bus, it's because you shouldn't be. If I would have gotten the driver's attention, I probably would have still missed the bus- because it wasn't in that Divine plan. So it was meant to be, and so it is.

And as my mind came to a peace of mind, knowing that G-d had wanted it this way- my eyes lifted, and I saw another, of the same number, bus pull up directly in front of me- mostly empty. And as I boarded, I realized my lesson of the day- it's G- d calling the shots, and all is Gam Zu L'Tova.

Chag Sameach all!

Shidduchim: A Kapara For Klal

At a recent simcha, I came across a lovely woman, with several children, who is moving back to America after her recent sojourn in Israel since she got married. We schmoozed, and eventually played Jewish geography. People from my hometown came up, including a certain woman who is still looking for her shidduch. She is a wonderful person, sweet, smart, charming, kind; in short, all the good qualities one would look for in a shidduch. Yet she hasn't met her match yet. The woman across from me remarked, "Maybe it’s a Kapara (atonement) for Klal Yisroel (the Jewish people)."

I was a bit taken aback by this statement. Then the woman next to me commented that she believes that there are two types of older singles out there. There are those who are being reasonably too picky, as they might be looking for something they can't get, or is exceedingly hard to get. The other, simply, hasn't met the right one yet. And those are, in her words, a Kapara for the entire Jewish nation.

Again, my brain started working overtime. You mean to tell me that there are women and men out there in this world who are waiting to meet their match, through no fault of their own, but as a general atonement for the world?

It came as a sort of shock to me, so I headed home to ask Mr. NMF about it. He remarked that he doesn't know too much about it- as atonement, as a general rule, is Kabbalistic in nature. But, one thing he does know, is that a person doesn't go through suffering only for the nation as a whole, but also for themselves- for some trait/action of their own. In addition, he threw in the Gemara that states that the death of the righteous (not to compare the lack of a shidduch to death of course, just for comparison's sake) does atone. Therefore, one person does have the capability to atone for the Klal.

So what do you think? Are there those out there who are waiting for their match due to a Divine decree, not specifically against them, but for the nation as a whole?

Doctors and Research

Two articles caught my eye this week- neither really has to do with Israel- which is what this blog was originally about- but they are fairly interesting, and have a lot to do with science and medicine.

So, if you are interested- here they are from Aish.com- Is Stem Cell Research Ethical? and Doctors: A Second Opinion.

The first article is on research, something I'm involved in right now, and I thought it was quite thorough, albeit from more of a lay perspective.

The second article is something that's been quoted to me many times, and is why I originally wanted to go into medicine. Doctors take a hard rap for people who don't have enough compassion in them, who get too haughty and ignore the true feelings of their patients, who see them as just statistics. I wanted to change all that- to become a doctor who cared for their patients' needs, and yet was still able to help them.

This is a hard path to follow. Med school teaches a person to be objective, to not have other factors clouding their judgement. This in turn becomes a lack of compassion, of basic kindness. Some of the best diagnosticians have the worst bedside manner. Sometimes a doctor has both, but it is rare. Does that make them a bad doctor? No. But it does make for bad doctor/patient relationships.

I have found that those doctors that are religious in any way, are more likely to have a sense of kindness and compassion- but that is not always true as well. For some doctors, simply having a sense of ethics and morals allows them to be excellent doctors and kind people as well.

I was once treated by a doctor, a head of a department with students crowded around him, who made me feel like a piece of meat, rather than a human being. I felt trapped, unable to protest, and when I did- the response from one of the 'groupies' was, "But he's the head of ______!"

Good doctor- possibly. Bad patient connection- most definitely. I still have nightmares about dealing with him.

Yet, some of the kindest people I know are doctors. They have compassion, care, concern, and all other things. They influenced me to go into research (albeit not medicine, but something akin) and taught me how a person could act. After all, a doctor has power in his hands (invested by G-d, but still in a human's hands). How he uses it is an expression of his character traits.

As the prayer of the Rambam- Maimonides, states:

"Do not allow thirst for profit, ambition for renown and admiration, to interfere with my profession, for these are the enemies of truth and of love for mankind and they can lead astray in the great task of attending to the welfare of Thy creatures. Preserve the strength of my body and of my soul that they ever be ready to cheerfully help and support rich and poor, good and bad, enemy as well as friend. In the sufferer let me see only the human being. "

It's Raining, It's Pouring- Do Something!

Baruch Hashem for rain. At least, rain in Israel- since that's a blessing we really need in these times. After all, the Kinneret is below its appropriate level, the government is soon to level a water tax (if it hasn't already) on the public, and we generally just need rain, living in a desert and all.

Last night, at the dinner table, we engaged in a resounding chorus of Mashiv HaRuach- the prayer for rain and wind- and today, look what happens. I actually got to say the blessing on lightning and thunder last night as well.

But rain also means that both NBD and I are down with colds. We also don't really leave the house on rainy days, due to the fact that I prefer not get soaked.

When I lived in the big old city of New York, I didn't have a car. I used to walk, or take public transportation, everywhere I went. As I walked down the streets, carrying one heavy bag on my back and other one wheeling behind me- I sometimes wondered why no one even thought to stop and see if I needed help, or a ride. I assumed they had other pressing business to take care of, and I was grateful if when I got to my destination, someone offered me a ride for the way back. I can remember one time when a newlywed and her husband offered me a ride as they saw me trudging down the street- they were even going in the opposite direction! But that's about it for random rides throughout my time in NY.

JerusalemStoned- a not so well known blogger, but an excellent writer and mommy living in Yerushalayim- has an interesting take on rain and people. After all, this is the season when people can do a lot of kindness to one another. Like loaning umbrellas, hitching rides- like Mr. NMF did this morning as he waited for yet another bus to slowly make its way through the traffic, or even just watching a neighbor's child so she can go pick up the other one from Gan.

Let's make this rainy season one where we reach out our hands and use the Gishmei Bracha- rain of blessing- to actually bestow tangible blessing on our friends and neighbors.

Oh yeah, and have fun splashing in those puddles!

Oreo Cookies, Not People

Blueberry. A term I heard only after I got married, referring to those of the Bais Yaakov schools, who wear light blue shirts and dark blue skirts.

Oreo. A term I knew about, but usually in fun, when referring to typical Yeshivish people who wear a white shirt and black pants every day.

Penguin. See oreo, but sometimes referring to chassidish, who wear 'tails' and long coats.

What do these three terms have in common?

Well, they are euphemisms used to describe people who are usually referred to as 'Yeshivish'.
They see long term Torah learning as a goal, they educate their daughters and sons in Bais Yaakovs and Yeshivos respectively, and they try to serve the Ribono Shel Olam in the way they know how.

I know that in every group, there are those who are not doing the right thing. There are those who are the typical stereotype. But if a Yeshivish 'oreo' guy makes fun of a guy wearing a 'colored' shirt- how is that any different then those not wearing the black and white uniform making fun of the oreos and the blueberries?

How is it not Loshon Hara to insult an entire group of Klal Yisroel, based on the way they dress, no less. Aren't we all supposed to look past exteriors and see the Yid inside?

Where would we be if the wonderful rabbeim at Aish HaTorah, or Or Sameach, looked at the way that the people who come searching for truth are dressed? Should we make fun of them too- by inventing names for their mode of dress?

Chanukah was a time where the Maccabim called out- M'LaHashem- who is for Hashem. Not, who dresses in color, and who dresses in monochrome. Not who has 7 children and who has 2. Not who wears a tichel and who wears a shpitzel. Just, who's trying to serve G-d in the best way they know how.

So, stop with the name calling. It's not nice, and it's probably Lashon Hara. Thanks.

This has been my public service announcement for the week.

Skipping Stones

This Thursday night, I was getting supper on the table, when my husband called me over. "NBD is crawling," he said with a smile. I ignored him, as she couldn't possibly be crawling. She's been getting all over the house lately in many other ways, but according to her doctor, since she's been standing for a while already, it was more probable that she would walk before she crawled.

But Friday, NBD proved me wrong, as she crawled towards the garbage can as I was making Shabbos, pulled herself up, and started to pick out yummy things to eat from it.

I didn't know whether to just stand there laughing, or get her out of the dustbin before she ate something nasty.

I called my grandmother, hoping to share the news. She was happy for us- but spent her conversation reminiscing.

"They grow up so fast, " she said. "This is the best time of your life- enjoying the babyhood and toddlerhood of your kids. Take advantage, don't miss a minute. Every milestone, every step, it's something that kids do, and just as they don't miss it, you shouldn't either. Rejoice with every stone met, and cherish every second. Because all too quickly they're all grown up."

It's true, you know. The time flies so fast- she was a newborn so recently. Looking at her, makes me feel old, because she's achieved so much in such a short period of time.

It's like that with all of our lives. When we are little, we can't wait to be big. When we're big, we can't wait to be grown up. When we're grown up, we can't wait to get married. When we get married, we want to start a family.

All these milestones, they pass us by so quickly. I guess like all of us, I have to learn to step back, and really watch for them, and enjoy them. Because like my grandmother said, all too quickly, she'll be grown up, and those stones will have flown by, as quick as skipping rocks on a pond.

Manners versus Convenience

I'm a usually very well mannered person, at least I think so. The times that I've been caught drinking straight out of a bottle (a 2 liter one) seem to make that fact obsolete, and I did send out my thank you notes for things rather late, but on the whole, I try to be respectful of others.

Yet, here is where I hit a bump, or snag, if you will.

You see, I'm a mommy, and I love being one. But I also have a brain, and I'd like to use it. So when I see all these shiurim advertised around my community, for convenient times and close location, I'd love to attend one, and get my gray cells working.

But, NBD is a baby, and does have that wonderful tendency of babies to be extremely self absorbed, causing her to interrupt what ever I may be doing at the moment to ask me to be involved in her life. And I'm happy to do so.

Yet, that means I can't attend shiurim. Most speakers and listeners HATE to be interrupted, especially by a complaining baby. In fact, some shiurim request that you not bring children at all, simply for that reason.

There is one phenomenal shiur in the neighborhood, given by the local Rebbitzen that requests that children attend- and no one minds if my kid starts complaining, or wants to nurse right in the middle of the shiur. Which is great for me, since I love being able to hear some words of Torah.

But, why can't I violate the mannerly thing to do and head to other shiurim, and just leave if NBD makes a peep? Is it wrong and uncouth to bring her to a shiur if I assume that in the middle she probably will disrupt? For, the second she disrupts, I will take her out. But at least I'll get to hear something!

Are words of Torah worth being unmannerly?

Chana and Rachel

I dunno. Maybe it's Rachel Imeinu's yartzheit (anniversary of her death) (I wrote this back then but was too scared to publish it!) that brings this up in my head. Maybe it's a friend, discussing with me Chana, or a rebbitzen, discussing with me Rachel. And, truthfully, I don't deserve to speak of it at all.

I'm blessed with a daughter, who I love more than anything in the world. But some have to travel long hard roads to have children, if G-d wills it.


There are very few who blog on the internet (at least in an open blog) as being Orthodox Jews and infertile. Probably they don't want to air their kishkes in a public forum.


ATIME has an internet site, Imamother has a group, and probably there are more anonymous people out there who are going through this.


I've gained a lot from reading one blog, about Serenity and now, her wonderful son, Baby O.
And my sensitivities have changed, quite a bit. So thank you, Serenity. I'm giving you a shout out that you should have lots of nachas (that's parental pleasure and pride) from your little one!


Beezrat Hashem(with G-d's help), all those who don't have children yet soon will. I wish them all much blessings, joy, happiness, simcha, and much hatzlacha.

I'd Like a Cuppa

Cuppa joe, cuppa tea, cuppa cocoa; these hot drinks are the ones getting me through winter right now.

I know, for all those experiencing the gorgeous weather outside we Israeli's call winter, I guess I have no right to sit down to an exquisite cup of hot chocolate with a marshmallow for extra flavor.

But, as my family has been sick, and I'm still nursing (it's not mine- but it's needy and won't leave me alone) a cough, one of those hot drinks are the ones keeping me going.

Israeli tea- Wissotsky , is the foremost company- at least by it's indomitable presence on the shelves, and the first one to arrive in the search results from Google for Israel tea, is delicious, and well marked- unlike Celestial Seasonings, which drive me nuts trying to determine if it is caffeine free, or not. (Why do I worry? Caffeine isn't good for me, no matter how much I like it.)

They have all sorts of flavors- although not in the abundance I was spoiled by Celestial, but they have the delicious Israeli flavor of Nana- or mint- as only Israel can produce it.

Ask my Moroccan friend, she buys pure Nana leaves, soaks them in some solution, and puts them directly into her cup of boiling water. Add some honey, sugar, or Nutrasweet solution, and what you've got is fit for a queen.

Hot chocolate is my choice for late nights- either made with freshly boiled milk, or a pareve version in just water if I've recently eaten meat. But either way, nothing beats a cup of that hot cocoa for a freezing wet cold night, when all you want to do is huddle under blankets for hours.

Coffee would be my favorite, but as much as I try, I can't get my coffee to taste like Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, or even Aroma- so I've given up.

So, enjoy your cuppa, and let's wait out this winter, until spring comes again, and we can go back to enjoying our 'Arctics' (that would be Popsicles) and ice cream yet again.

Things to Do While Sick

So, things just keep going around. By things, I mean viruses, bacteria, and all those stuff that make our lives just ever so joyful.

NBD was sick last week, for five days. Doc said it was just a virus, but boy, do those things last a long time. I caught some sort of cold, which lasted for about 3 days, yet I'm still sniffling and nursing a cough. And now, Mr. NMF has been laid low by something that forced him to leave yeshiva, which means he's really sick. It brings to mind this poem by J.A.P. about husbands and sickness.

So. What to do while you're sick. Or at least, what to do while your family is sick, besides for cooking extra big bowlfuls of 'Jewish penicillin', a.k.a., chicken soup. (By the way, although research has proven that chicken soup does help alleviate the symptoms of a sickness, it doesn't actually cure it. Although, it does help quite a bit!)

The way I see it, if you're really sick, you can't really do much more than sleep in a comfortable bed. If you're semi sick, you have just about enough energy to read a good book. I highly recommend Lawrence Kelleman's book on chinuch, 'To Kindle a Soul', for all those looking for something new to read. If you have the energy, you can use a computer, or call people who you haven't spoken to in quite a while.

But, what it comes down to is this: my household just doesn't function 'well' when they are sick.

Something that has nothing to do with the title of this post- ProfK has an excellent take on the Fort Hood shooting- I myself read immediately on Fox News that the shooter had said "Allah Akbar"- but it took until about page 5 (and let's face it, who reads that long) on the NY Times to get that point across. "Don't jump to conclusions.", Obama says. Well. I'm not jumping, I'm just meandering slowly towards them. Oh, and the New York Post is meandering too.

Jewish Heroes

Wow. Through the Jewish Federation, they selected 5 'Jewish Heroes' that are going to get 1,000 dollars towards their work, and that could be selected to win 25,000 dollars.
When I first got this email, there were 400 nominees, and then it got narrowed to 20, then finally, these final 5.
These people make differences in people's lives every day. Honestly, I am so amazed and wowed by some of the work that they do. I know a few people personally who have told me in confidence how they have benefited from Keren Simchas Chassan V'Kallah, and others who have joined a Friendship Circle.
Here's the video on who was chosen:



It makes me reexamine my own life. What am I doing to help the Jewish world at large? What can I contribute?

One of my neighbors takes out time from her family of 7 and leaves them on Erev Shabbos for a couple hours, in order to distribute Shabbos candles at the local marketplace to those who would probably not have lit candles otherwise. She makes a difference, even with her limited time.

Any ideas folks? For a mom of one, with most of my energy going towards my family and home, what can I do to make a difference in the lives of others?

It Was SUCH a Chavaya

Cue the typical seminary girl's voice, "It was SUCH a chavaya, you have NO idea..."

Interesting. I was once a sem girl, believe it or not, and yes, I did my share of searching for 'chavayot' or 'experiences' that I could write home about. You know the type, like visiting Tzfas and getting followed by someone who thinks he's Mashiach, or heading to Kever Rochel on her yartzheit and getting squished (note to self: I am never doing that again.), or going to the Kotel for Birkat Kohanim and getting squished yet again (note #2: second note #1.) .

But am I, the person I am now, a chavaya? An experience? It seems so.

I hosted two guests for Shabbos that I had no clue who they were. A neighbor, who happens to be one of the sweetest and kindest families I know, offered an invitation to two girls who he never met before in his life, and they took him up on it. So, the neighbor called me to see if I had sleeping space for sem girls, which I did, as my guest room was free.

When I asked them what brought them to my neighborhood, and to that neighbor in general, she responded, "Didn't you go on chavayot when you were in sem?"

Well. It seems I am now 'an experience". Something to write home about. Frankly, I didn't know I, or my neighbors were that interesting. I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered.

Either way, they had a nice time over Shabbos, and I and NBD both have colds/flu. So there you go. I should put out advertising: "Nice guest room available in a family that's a definite chavaya. A must see experience to tell all your friends about when you get back."