Parenting Perspective

Okay, I admit it. My husband says I'm part of a cult. And sometimes I agree.

How so? Well, I'm a bit of a [says in quiet undertone voice] attachment parenting mama.

Flee while you still can!! I am one of those! You know the kind, the ones who are active (or like me, used to be active since I have NO time right now, but still give advice when asked) in La Leche League (which speaking of that, there are 2 awesome groups, one in Hebrew and one in English running in Jerusalem right now- email me for details).

The kind that breastfeeds a toddler, interested in baby led weaning or baby led foods, tries to wear or hold her baby as much as possible, doesn't believe in cry it out sleep training, has co-slept with her baby for now close to 2 years, and still has her in her room when not... I know. I'm a freak. I'm facing it.

It's not a cult, I tell my husband- I raise a happy, well adjusted, independant, smart, courageous and adorable toddler this way! Her needs are met, I am in her life, despite working during the day, and all is right with the world! And then he conceeds, that yes, everyone is happy- and then mutters "LLL, it's a cult" under his breath. And we both laugh.

Now. I am usually a very non-judgmental person. I try very hard to be like this. The problem is usually not me- but people around me. Like for example, if someone mentions she's giving her one year old milk, and I remark, "Oh that's nice.", she immediately feels she has to defend herself and say, "Well, I breastfeed for a year, and now I need a break, and I'm happier and so is he, so now we stopped nursing."

Okay lady. I get it. And truthfully, a side of me says- yay! You are happy and your baby is happy! So what's the problem? I certainly don't care! I think 3 days of breastfeeding is a huge accomplishment and mothers should get awards for it!
Yet AP parents get a flak, sort of, of being judgmental of others' parenting, so hence the response.

Yay! I'm happy you found a bedtime routine that works for you. Do you really think I care that your kid is in another room than you? Do what works! As a wise friend once said- if it ain't broke, don't fix it. (Now, if you let your kid scream for hours alone to get that result, don't expect me to praise you. I may nod and say, OK, but I'm certainly not going to lambast you in public for it. If I feel you are receptive to a comment, I may recommend The No-Cry Sleep Solution as an alternative.)

So I'm throwing this out to the blogosphere. Do you feel people judge you on your parenting style? Are you judgmental of others? Do people feel they have to defend their style to you?

Chanukah in Israel

One of my favorite holidays of all time- but here in Israel, Chanukah is taken to a new level.
Besides for my daughter having learnt in Gan for the last 3 weeks consecutively every last detail about Chanukah- dreidel spins, menorahs are polished and then lit with oil, the Pach Shemen was very important- did I leave anything out- and then actually coming home with several songs about Chanukah, Israel tends to make a big deal about this holiday.
The Ubiquitous Sufganiyot line the street, so much so that you can smell them practically everywhere- caramel, jelly, and plain- you name it, they've got it. Livivot, or Latkes, are being baked everywhere, so potatoes are on sale at your local grocery or makolet.

But not only that- traffic hits a new high at around 4 pm, as everyone frantically rushes home to light their candles as soon as they possibly can. I got home at 5- and my whole block (practically) had their menorahs already proudly displayed in their windows, or in the aquarium boxes on the street. The Kollel men shift their schedule tocome home at 4 and then head back at 6.

I guess it's nice having such a nice, big, deal made of the Chag HaORim, Festival of Lights. It's beautiful to see even those who are not religious celebrating this day. Where I work made a special effort to erect a menorah and light it on time for all the workers still there.

So whereever you are, have a very Happy Chanukah this year, and may we be able to see the Temple that the Jewish people fought for rebuilt speedily in our day.

Erev Shabbos #25- Short Friday

People view me as a generally 'emotional' person- when I'm happy, I'm happy, sad, sad, excited, angry- you name it, I display it. It's something I think I have to work on in my life. After all, my face is public property.

But no more of that- frantic- is the emotion I generally feel on a Friday afternoon that leads to a Short Erev Shabbos. After all- I have to have everything ready by 4:00 in the afternoon- and no, I don't cook during the week. All is done on Friday, fresh and early. Even if I have guests, most of the time I don't prepare in advance.

I do however, during each recipe on a given Friday, try to make doubles or triples- to stash up in my freezer for times of need, a friend in need, or an emergency.

Yet early Shabbosim, and the Short Friday syndrome (everything is always ready, exactly when Shabbos starts, no matter what time it is) often prevent me from doing everything.

A rebbitzen in our community once discussed a lady who was very stressed out on Erev Shabbos. The lady complained that she had no time, and couldn't manage to get everything done, so she vented her frustration on her husband and family. (I'm sure we all can relate to that.) So my rebbitzen's answer- buy some ready made and use paper and plastic. Hence the reason that she is a practical rebbitzen, and I am not.

So I try. But- sometimes the Short Friday overtakes me, and I'm found rushing from one thing to the next, ordering my family around, and generally frantically frustrating the world.

Yet I continue to hope that every week I will find the right balance- between getting everything done, and getting frantic about it- between having it all and doing what I need to do.

It's a work in progress- just like my kugels. But it'll happen eventually- with Siyata Dishmaya- help from Heaven.

Busy, Busy, Yet Grateful

Busy doesn't even begin to describe it- what with deadlines, school, work, home, house, and family.

Chanukah always has meant to me a time when one could actually celebrate and relax with family. Thanksgiving was a family time too- but due to family members having different dietary requirements (ie, kosher and not) and differing schedules, it wasn't always celebrated, except with the obligatory turkey on sale.

But Chanukah was different. Gathered together, around the menorah as the lighting commenced, the little ones hanging around, my mother playing the piano's sweet tunes- I can't even remember a Chanukah in which my family wasn't together in some shape and form.

That family togetherness is something that I realize doesn't always happen by everyone. In Israel, the kollel men have a weird schedule, in which they come home really early to light the menorah exactly on time, and then go back. It's not like the family gatherings that started at a covenient 7-8 for everyone. But the togetherness is still there.

And that's what I'm thankful for today- the time to reflect on the fact that I have a family, that we do try to come together, and that they all still want to spend time with each other. That in of itself is a miracle- that everyone is willing to spend time together, to join in something so simple- yet so powerful.

So Happy Thanksgiving to all- and a future Happy Chanukah. May we all realize the things that we are most grateful for.

A Small Bit of the Kibbutz

My Ulpan is still going on, and with it they are celebrating the 100th year anniversary of the establishment of the Kibbutz. We have been shown films, text, and other various presentations regarding the establishment of the Kibbutz, Kibbutz life, shared life, living, sleeping, shared education, and the eventual breaks among the Kibbutz and among the movement.

I am definitely not the expert of a Kibbutz. I’ve read Batya Gur’s ‘Murder on a Kibbutz’, which was illuminating, heard the words of various Israeli writers on the subject, and recently watched the documentary film of Ran Tal- ‘Yeldei HaShemesh’.

Ran Tal spoke personally to the group afterwards, and mentioned an interesting point- that before one judges the kibbutz society, and how they lived, with the minimal time spent with parents, and the shared environment in general- one should see that in families where there are problems among the family itself- a broken home, an abusive home, and so on- that the family model is not necessarily perfect either. The Kibbutz model has different problems, but neither model is perfect.

In R’ Mattisyahu Solomon’s recent book, ‘With Hearts Full of Love’, on Chinuch, he discusses the interesting idea that before a Jewish marriage, no one presents the young couple a certificate, or even a training course, saying that they are fit to become parents. He questions why not, and his answer is that he believes that within each person, within in each Jewish marriage, they are equipped with all the necessary tools to educate their future children, albeit if they need advice or so on- but they have the tools necessary.

The kibbutz movement felt to eliminate these problems would be to create this shared environment, to make sure that the children would be educated and so on in the way that they wished, without these problems. I can see their point- from their side, but watching this movie brought tears to my eyes.

To see these young parents not being able to relate to their own children, because they were not brought up with love from their own parents, to not being able to even give them a kiss or a hug from true feeling, simply because they were brought up in the kibbutz lifestyle. To see a sobbing child being brought back to the shared children’s room, and crying for their Ima, until the wee hours of the night, or to stay awake all night, afraid to go to sleep- it’s the saddest thing in the world. To see a child, sneak out of the children’s room, wandering outside in the dark till they found their parent’s room, and then to sleep outside the door, or to clutch their parents’ sheet, but not wake them at all- simply because their parents would bring them back- just to be in the same room with them- it literally made me cry.

For one, I am glad that the Kibbutz movement eventually got rid of shared sleeping spaces- but it taught me something powerful: there is nothing more important in a family than the loving relationship between a parent and child. And how blessed I am to go home to my daughter, to hug her and to kiss her, and to be a true family with her.

Pesach Part 2

Life seems to be flying ahead of me so fast that I have at least 10 blog posts just waiting to be put up.

Here's the second Pesach part that I meant to put up earlier.

Pesach brings with it many things, mostly the domains of families. Many take trips, head out to wild, exotic places, just to see the sites and report back. Children in these families take great pride in reporting where they just came from, what they saw, and what they did. They brag about their latest exploits to their neighbors, friends, and classmates- and woe to those children who didn't do anything at all.

This past Pesach, the neighbor of mine who has 7 children delivered her eighth, a boy. And so, I and Mr. NMF volunteered to take the young ones on a trip to the zoo. Nothing major, but anything with 7 children becomes something major, of course. An enjoyable time was had by all, viewing the elephants and the vultures, just waiting to swoop down on my unsuspecting NBD, who laughed the whole time.

But the best part was, that now they had something to 'talk' about- that they did something on Chol HaMoed.

Compare that to my new neighbor, who also has 7 children, and is also a Ganenet. (I seem to attract these type of families as neighbors.) She confided in me that for her family, a Chol HaMoed activity is spending time with everyone- just hanging out together, small art projects, new games at home, or heading to a large park or picnic with extended family. In a way, I like this style some what better- as it promotes values that one doesn't really need to do something flashy or overdone in order to have a wonderful lasting time, that makes for good memories.

Either way, Chol Hamoed becomes the time to spend time with family. I hope all succeeded in doing that this Pesach.

Sorry, Nothing New- Except Something Big

Ein Chadash Tachas HaShemesh, Koheles says. There is nothing new on this earth. And, when house, baby, family obligations and the ever present husband (yes, I made supper already :D) take priority, this blog doesn't. And, I'm sure my readers, if I still have any, understand that.

In my own little world, nothing usually out of the ordinary happens. It goes something like this:
Wake up, get little one up, feed everyone breakfast, work a bit, play with little one, find out how husband's day went, play with little one, work a bit, get supper ready, eat supper, and good night.

See how boring? Nothing out of the ordinary, no unusual occurrences, just same old, same old.

And that's quite nice actually. There are no major pronouncements, no unexpected disasters, and nothing really that explodes like a torrential raincloud over my head. It's nice to be settled, to be set in my ways, and feel like finally, finally, I can sit down and take a break for a bit.

Soon enough, my life will get rather hectic. Graduate school will take priority over my life, and all else will go to smithereens. But for now, I'm going to enjoy my peace and quiet.

What's the 'Something Big' of my title? Well, today, something happened, that was so quiet, so relaxed, and so perfectly fit into my life, that it almost seems like nothing happened to jar my little world. You see, I made aliyah today.

Yes, you heard that right. I made aliyah. With Nefesh B'Nefesh. And it was easy, relaxing, and dare I say it, almost an anticlimactic event.

Next week, I'll be getting my Teudat Zehut (Israeli identity card). And, I've been told it's in my best interest not to leave the country for the next 3 months. Which I wasn't planning on anyway. So, there you go. I filled out the paperwork, said thank you , and went out for lunch. I wish I could say I heard the earth of Israel communing with me, or that there were trumpets, fanfare, and a bugle blow in my honor, but nothing quite so earthshattering happened. I did have a great shakshouka for lunch though!

Just another ordinary day in my life. Quite relaxing, don't you think?

Chanukah Tunes

I don't know about you, but for me, Chanukah always brings with it those melodies that evoke memories of past and present. You know the like- like the golden oldies your grandparents sang (the old tune of Maoz Tzur, for example) to the hip hop rock the newest CD's transform Al Hanissim into.

There's the classic 'Sivvivon, Sov Sov Sov' or the 'I had a little dreidel...'. There's 'Chanukah (or Hannukah, depending on your generation and ideology) Oh Chanukah', and the english Maoz Tzur- Rock of Ages.

Somehow, my family can never get a proper tune going for Haneiros Hallalu- no matter which one we try, someone ends up forgetting it in the middle, and by the end, we're making up our own tunes.

And, it's a total blast to watch NBD on Mr. NMF's shoulders as he dances to 'Yevanim, Yevanim Nikb'tzu Alay...'. My family is joining us for this holiday, and it's a pleasure to hear my father and my husband join their voices together in these wonderful tunes.

I heard that Maoz Tzur is a German folk tune, also used by the Protestant church.
Well, in any case, it's been rumored that R' Moshe Feinstein had his own tune for it, since he didn't want to use a non-Jewish tune for this special song. It didn't really catch on though. Anyone know it?

Well, I'm back to frying latkes. Here's a link for the continuing verses of "I had a little dreidel." My favorites were:

'I have a little dreidel, I made it out of pasta; it got all tangled in my hair, and now they call me 'rasta''

'I have a little dreidle, I made it out of pot, and when it started spinning, I just sat and stared at it a lot. '

'I have a little dreidel, I made it out of shmaltz; it don't make healthy eatin' but, that dreidel sure can waltz !'

'I made a little dreidel in virtual reality. If you wear the right headgear, it's there for you to see.'

'I had a little dreidel, I made it out of clay; said a Kabbalistic blessing, and it got up and walked away.'

Skipping Stones

This Thursday night, I was getting supper on the table, when my husband called me over. "NBD is crawling," he said with a smile. I ignored him, as she couldn't possibly be crawling. She's been getting all over the house lately in many other ways, but according to her doctor, since she's been standing for a while already, it was more probable that she would walk before she crawled.

But Friday, NBD proved me wrong, as she crawled towards the garbage can as I was making Shabbos, pulled herself up, and started to pick out yummy things to eat from it.

I didn't know whether to just stand there laughing, or get her out of the dustbin before she ate something nasty.

I called my grandmother, hoping to share the news. She was happy for us- but spent her conversation reminiscing.

"They grow up so fast, " she said. "This is the best time of your life- enjoying the babyhood and toddlerhood of your kids. Take advantage, don't miss a minute. Every milestone, every step, it's something that kids do, and just as they don't miss it, you shouldn't either. Rejoice with every stone met, and cherish every second. Because all too quickly they're all grown up."

It's true, you know. The time flies so fast- she was a newborn so recently. Looking at her, makes me feel old, because she's achieved so much in such a short period of time.

It's like that with all of our lives. When we are little, we can't wait to be big. When we're big, we can't wait to be grown up. When we're grown up, we can't wait to get married. When we get married, we want to start a family.

All these milestones, they pass us by so quickly. I guess like all of us, I have to learn to step back, and really watch for them, and enjoy them. Because like my grandmother said, all too quickly, she'll be grown up, and those stones will have flown by, as quick as skipping rocks on a pond.

Chana and Rachel

I dunno. Maybe it's Rachel Imeinu's yartzheit (anniversary of her death) (I wrote this back then but was too scared to publish it!) that brings this up in my head. Maybe it's a friend, discussing with me Chana, or a rebbitzen, discussing with me Rachel. And, truthfully, I don't deserve to speak of it at all.

I'm blessed with a daughter, who I love more than anything in the world. But some have to travel long hard roads to have children, if G-d wills it.


There are very few who blog on the internet (at least in an open blog) as being Orthodox Jews and infertile. Probably they don't want to air their kishkes in a public forum.


ATIME has an internet site, Imamother has a group, and probably there are more anonymous people out there who are going through this.


I've gained a lot from reading one blog, about Serenity and now, her wonderful son, Baby O.
And my sensitivities have changed, quite a bit. So thank you, Serenity. I'm giving you a shout out that you should have lots of nachas (that's parental pleasure and pride) from your little one!


Beezrat Hashem(with G-d's help), all those who don't have children yet soon will. I wish them all much blessings, joy, happiness, simcha, and much hatzlacha.

Delicious Shomron Zucchini Kugel

Recently, I went to my husband's family in the Shomron and enjoyed a beautiful Shabbos by them.
They made a major effort to accommodate me, and make me feel welcome.

My husband's aunt made delicious and delectable food, so much so that about two weeks afterwards, I found myself, although not pregnant, craving her zucchini kugel.

So, I called Aunt Shaindel up, and got her delicious recipe for zucchini kugel. She remarked to me on the phone that my husband must have put me up to this, because he loved her zucchini kugel for ages. I responded that surprisingly, it was me who wanted it, but if Mr. NMF likes it too, that's an added bonus.

Forgive me if there are some odd amounts in the recipe- Aunt Shaindel doesn't measure anything, so I developed the proportions on my own. Just keep playing with it until it tastes delicious!

Aunt Shaindel's Zucchini Kugel

4-6 large zucchini, cut into slices
2-3 onions, depending on taste, cut into slices
2 cloves of garlic, crushed, or a teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 a cup of oil
1 stick margarine
2-3 eggs
1- 1 1/2 cups bread crumbs
1-2 Tbsp. curry powder (or more, if you like curry!)
Salt and Pepper to taste

Place the cut up zucchini, onion, and garlic into a bowl with water, and boil until soft and mushy. Strain out the liquid, and place into bowl. Add to the bowl the oil and margarine while the mixture is still hot from the boiling process. Then add the eggs, bread crumbs, curry powder, and spices. Mix up, gently (you don't want something mushy, but you should get a loose mixture) and pour into pan. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit, or 160 degrees Celsius, for at least 20 minutes until the tops turns a golden brown.

Enjoy!

Erev Shabbos #20- Succos Shabbos

Well, this year we don't take the four species as a commandment from the Torah, but rather, just from the Rabbis, as this Shabbos is also Succos, when the lulav and esrog are muktzeh. So, I'm busy cooking up a storm, as we have guests, sleeping guests, and a tiny but beautiful succah to fill.

This is my first succah built in my new apartment, which makes it all the more special a Shabbos. I can just envision it- white material covering my walls, flapping gently in the breeze, as my decorations sway and shimmer to the light of my Shabbos candles.
I can hardly wait.

Succos this year should be a total blast- as we have trips galore planned with relatives and friends who came in from America just to see us. Oh, and of course, what would Succos in Israel be without a trip to the Kotel for Birkat Kohanim, the priestly blessing given on holidays?!

I visited the Machene Yehuda shuk yesterday, to pick up last minute items, and everyone wished the other a Chag Sameach, happy holiday, along with the traditional Shabbat Shalom. It's a wonderful combination that only comes once in a special while- to combine the freshness and newness of Yom Tov with the gaity and relaxed festivities of the weekly Shabbos.

So a Gut Yom Tov and Gut Shabbos to all- wishing you a wonderful week!

Visit to the Shomron

I visited the Shomron this past week- what an exhilarating experience. Mr. NMF has an uncle in a neighborhood near Karnei Shomron and we spent Shabbos with them. We boarded the 465 bus from Yerushalyim, frantically rushing on Erev Shabbos, and arrived in the main bus station with plenty of time to spare.

After getting ready for Shabbos and greeting the relatives, I went for a walk and a drive to see the neighborhood.

As we drove past flourishing esrog and orange trees, in well kept yards near the stuccoed houses, I couldn't help exclaiming at the view. Miles of hills, filled with trees supposedly planted by the former King of Jordan, next door to the olive vineyards owned by their Arab neighbors in Azun. We passed by Moshe Zar's house, occupying a hill all to himself, where he raised 12 children, and built up these settlements one at a time. Nearby Emmanuel flashed its lights, but I was distracted by the view of Karnei Shomron, Ginot Shomron, and Neve Menachem, filled with houses, homes, families, and a thriving community.

We stood in Eilon Shiloh- to get a viewpoint. Eilon Shiloh was supposed to be the last built, but they built it first, planning to fill in the homes in between. I stood there in awe, looking at what our nation has built, and what it has done to a vast wilderness. The Shomron is flourishing, and continues to thrive as more young couples remain near their parents and grandparents who settled the land at first.

Shabbos was beautiful, accompanied by long walks through the streets to see the decorated electric boxes painted with Bob the Builder, a Scrabble Board, and a Siamese cat. The park was filled with children, the shul was filled with song, and my eyes couldn't get enough of the wonderful community that was built there.

I left wishing I could live there- wishing that this community will survive and grow, and continue to flourish.

Belated Mother's Day Post

"Do they have Mother's Day in Israel, " my grandmother inquired. I answered, "I'm not sure, seeing as it is a holiday promoted by the greeting card industry, but I'll celebrate it anyway if you'd like."

This was my first Mom's Day, and I did the dutiful daughter thing and called all the moms to wish them a happy day.

And then I watched my daughter play on the floor of the kitchen while I washed dishes- and I remarked to myself, "Life can't get better than this."

Happy Mom's Day to moms everywhere!

A Bunch of Firsts

Well, my first Pesach and Sedarim made is now half over- hurrah!

I succeeded in getting the house clean, the two Seders (for our American guests) created, and all by the time of burning Chametz.

Birkas HaChama was another phenomenal first- standing out there with all the other women, looking at the sun in a new way- that only happens once in 28 years. It was phenomenal, inspirational, and a new recognition of Hashem- that even the largest luminary serves Him. My whole neighborhood gathered together- B'Rov Am, Hadras Melech- when more people come, it's more glory for the King of Kings.

This was the first year that I personally only kept one day of Yom Tov- quite fun to stand there taking pictures of a Seder that I didn't have to participate in...and I realized that I'll never have a 3-day Yom Tov again, except on Rosh Hashana, every once in a while.

It was also NBD's first Pesach- and even though she only made it past the first kos (cup), she still enjoyed it!

I'll be on a slight vacation till after Pesach (unless something really interesting comes up)- so Chag Kasher V'Sameach!

Perspectives of Laundry

I remember at the beginning of my marriage, when I first had started to keep a house, my first realization was that my laundry had now doubled. At first, I only had to do laundry for myself. Now, suddenly there were two. And, the second person might not have as many clothes as I do, so therefore, laundry had to be done more often.

Now, with the glad addition of NBD, there are now 3 people with laundry. And again, the laundry has to be done more often, with more loads. And, we host guests, and as all are familiar with, guests create more laundry- sheets, towels, and blankets.

(For all those wondering how come I can't just do one or two loads with the amount I have, the answer is: Israeli washing machine. Please G-d, maybe one day I'll be able to get a bigger one, but as of right now, 5 kilo it is.)

My neighbor with 7 children does 4 or 5 loads a day, just to keep up.
When I once walked down to speak with a great Sephardic guy who's an amazing jack of all trades, he told me that with his 9 children, his wife does 6 loads a day, minimal.

So, what's all this about laundry, and why did I deem a post worth of it?

It's all about perspectives. You see, I might think, wow, my family generates an awful amount of laundry. Are we dirty people, or are we obsessive-compulsive cleaners?

But then I remember that there are others out there with more loads, more hampers, and generally more laundry.

I might think, wow, this is a major problem in my life- I have so much dirty laundry!
(An exaggeration to be true. Mr. NMF reminds me that in the 'olden days' laundry had to be taken to the river, scrubbed on a rock or in a laundry tub, and then hung to dry. We just throw it in and 'fuhgeddaboudit'.)

I may think on certain days, wow, life is rough. Life threw me a curveball today.
But, if we use the laundry perspective, there are always others out there with more laundry than us, and more people generating more laundry. It puts things in perspective.

There should be a mathematical equation for this- I'll ask B4S to figure it out along with the
shidduch equation she's working on.

However, along with the dirty laundry comes all the good things that go with the laundry- healthy, happy people wearing clothing and living lives.

So, that's my take on life- laundry.
Excuse me, I have a load to switch to the dryer.

Chesed and Neighbors

I know I've posted before on the phenomenal amount of Chesed that goes on here in Israel- but being the recipient of some recently, I just had to say it again.

My family has been blessed. When my family moved to a frum community in America, (they were living a bit further out before), they looked for a house in the neighborhood. They didn't even check the neighbors out, just the general area.
They moved in, and were blessed by Hashem with phenomenal neighbors. Neighbors that care, that ask, that give without thought of repayment.

Neighbors that do chesed on a daily basis- from walking the elderly man on our block to shul every day, to babysitting in a pinch, or a friendly visit from the doctor who lives down the block. When a child got sick, or a person got married- the whole block was there, helping and giving. Thank you all.

Then, I moved to Israel. And again- we didn't check out the 'courtyard', but rather, the neighborhood in general. And again, Hashem gave us a tremendous bracha by giving us devoted, caring neighbors.

Recently, when I was in the hospital with NBD (Newly Born Daughter. Thanks, Anonymous 613), my neighbors sent so much food- an army could have been happily satiated. I got visitors, people who took off from their schedules to give me a hello, and I received advice, as being here without family makes it hard to adjust to motherhood. I came home- and people brought supper, brought advice, made phone calls, and helped me so much that I wouldn't know what to do without them. And all of this- why? They're my neighbors.
I feel so blessed.

Although- this brings up an interesting point, that I've mentioned before. Do you choose a neighborhood for the neighbors? Or do you choose it for other factors- school, community, lifestyle, religiosity, and hope that it all falls into place?
What's the most important thing to look for?

Good Friends

Living here in Israel, it's often the case that when a good friend has a simcha, I'm not there to participate. I just had a friend get married- and not only was I not there for her wedding, but I was not there for her engagement, vort, or anything else. And, she plans to continue to live in the US- so I probably won't get to be part of her life too much.

One of my closest friends just recently got engaged. Of course, I knew this was coming for quite a while- and was already discussing how I could wrangle attending her wedding. Which will probably be in the US, since she plans to live there as well.

I'm so happy for her, and I wish her so many brachos- but at the same time, I miss being there. I miss sharing personally in her simcha and being on the spot. I can help from overseas, make plans, give advice, but it's not the same as actually being there.

It's a pleasure to live in Israel- and I'm so grateful for the zechus (privilege). But I do miss out on people's lives, on seeing their newest baby, or celebrating with their families. I even miss out on my own family's life- bar mitzvahs, birthdays, etc.

But I wouldn't trade it for anything. Despite this, living here is the best thing I ever could have hoped for. And it isn't like it was back in the 'olden days', when a telephone call (as reported by Rebbitzen Ruchoma Shain) used to cost 60 dollars, if they could find a telephone to call on. We have technology, which allows us to keep in touch with everyone. Programs like Skype abound, and with the prevalence of American/European numbers in Israel, calling home from Israel
would register as a local call on the caller ID.

So I miss out on a simcha. That's unfortunate, but part of life. And, I hope that they will come here to celebrate their simchos- come and stay, come and visit. Some family members have even considered making their simchos here, just by virtue of the fact that they now have family living in this special land. (We'll see when the first actually comes.)

But for now, I'm content. And happy that Klal Yisroel is experiencing so many wonderful occasions at this time.