Bird Sighting

It was a magical moment.

We had just finished Shabbos lunch, and contrary to my usual plan of heading straight into my bed and not coming out till it was time to make Shalosh Seudah, I decided that the whole family could do for a walk.

So we headed out, and walked down our block, Mr. NMF pushing the stroller with NBD inside. Our block is covered with olive and pomegranate trees, and we amused ourselves by pointing out the various new and old foliage all around us.

We walked into a pretty block, with shade and gorgeous flowers, when I stopped short.

"Is that a hummingbird?" I said. "I've never seen a real hummingbird outside of the zoo before."

There in front of us, flitting around, was a gorgeous iridescent hummingbird, with blue and green plumage, trying to suck out nectar from some pink flowers.

A compatriot, in dark colors of brown and black, joined him, and we just stood there mesmerized, watching the two of them flit back and forth. It was a sight to see.

What a perfect Shabbos afternoon.

Learning to Say No...or Yes

The title is rather ambivelant, don't you think?

But it actually makes sense to me. You see, this week, I'm bogged down with responsibilities, mostly chesed, that I've taken on. And I was wondering to myself whether or not I should have said no to some of them.

For example, I'm hosting a women's gathering in my house (read N'shei, for those who know these things) today. I have to drop off something else far away from my house today for someone who needs it. I do have a job, and I'm doing that too. Oh, and did I mention I'm hosting guests for Shabbos? And sleeping guests? And cooking a meal or two for a new mother? And I'm cooking for the annual Melava Malka?

Now. Each one of these projects is worthwhile in itself. And, I did say yes to everything, so I am going to do it all. And, I'm happy about doing it all, that I have the chance to do so much chesed. So, that's the yes factor in all of this.

The no factor is that I still have a house to run, a job to do, and a baby to take care of. And, I didn't have to take on everything this week specifically. I could have said no, and had a slightly easier and less draining week. I would have had more time for myself, possibly, and would be a bit more relaxed about everything. So that's the no side.

All chesed is giving of one's self. Giving of the innermost side of one's self, that one wants to help others and is showing it by using their self and their talents to help others. So who wouldn't want to do that? That's why most people say yes when asked for a chesed job.

But there are times when it's necessary to say no. Add a couple more jobs on my plate and I would have had to say no to a few 'extracurricular' activities. And, I would have felt bad about that, because I do want to say yes. But sometimes one has to say no.

It's all about finding a happy medium.

Favors and Neighbors

Yesterday, as I stood unpacking boxes with my door open, I was invited to, or more accurately, stuck in the middle of, meeting and greeting the new neighbors. Again, more accurately, I'm the new neighbor, and they all came to check me out.

All were, sweet, charming, and extremely nice and generous- inviting us for Shabbos meals, finding out if we needed anything, and so on. NBD charmed them as well- everyone loves a cute baby. (I'm biased, but she is cute.)

Our neighbors have also been generous about lending things: 'scotch' (that's scotch brite cleaning items for the Americans out there), a step stool to reach high cabinets, and a Gemara for poor Mr. NMF, who's Gemaros are somewhere in the endless array of boxes labeled 'sefarim'.

But, as we are neighbors, some of the Israeli's feel almost instantly comfortable. They asked us for our extra boxes, as they would be moving soon. They asked us if we had extra beds for guests to sleep in, since we wouldn't be there for Shabbos. And, you know- if I was in the US, I might almost find the fact that we, and them, started asking for favors almost as soon as we walked in the door, some what laughable.

After all, in the US, I lived out-of-town, and knew my neighbors quite well, but I wouldn't have asked them for things as soon as I moved in, and neither would they. When I sojourned on the East Coast, I didn't know my neighbors at all- and so neither one of us could ask each other for favors.

But it's one of those things you either love or hate in Israel- the instant comfort and congeniality among neighbors. I happen to love it- you feel comfortable with each other immediately, solving many problems of the 'getting-to-know' you stage. But maybe some would prefer a little distance, at least until they themselves start to feel more settled.

In a way, it helps to feel comfortable immediately, in that it helps you acclimate immediately as well. They can tell you the best places for shopping, for clothing, for shiurim, and so on- things you wouldn't know on your own.

In any case, I'm grateful to have neighbors with whom the largest distance we have to cross is the hallway between our apartments.

OII #16- Moving In

So, we moved in. Which was wonderful. But, here comes a series of unfortunate events.

Firstly, unfortunately, that means we also had to move out again, as our new apartment desperately needs a coat of paint. But, we did move in for a couple of days and started to set up.

The second unfortunate event was that we did not have any appliances. Yep. Besides for a microwave and a hot pot, all our appliances were ordered before Tisha B'Av, but weren't allowed to be delivered until after such day. So, we were stuck.

I decided to go shopping, and pick up some items that we could eat even without an oven or a stove top. Examples might be peanut butter, tuna, crackers, drinks, and those ever present 'Mana Rishona', the little Tradition Soup like instant soups that are so popular here. Except, they also have instant pasta, potatoes, and ravioli. Yum.

So, we prepared to heat up our instant supper, when the third unfortunate event occurred. Our hot pot didn't work. So, we had no hot water for anything.

I went up to my upstairs neighbor, who I had briefly met. (She is also a ganenet, and she also has 7 kids. Remember my old neighbor with the same situation!) I asked if I could have some hot water. She looked me up and down, and proceeded to serve me a delicious supper to bring down to Mr. NMF. As I protested the generosity, she had her daughters carry it down for me, complete with plates and silverware. And, I had only met this woman that day!

When I arrived home, another sight greeted me! Mr. NMF was holding another tray of food, also complete with silverware. Another generous neighbor had dropped off a plate, thinking we would be starving.

And so it continued. A welcoming committee brought us more meals, a neighbor invited us over to eat before the fast, and my wonderful upstairs neighbor brought us delicious waffles after the fast.

Moving into a new neighborhood may bring a series of unfortunate events. But, thank G-d we have wonderful neighbors to help us weather it! \

Kudos to all those who do the same in communities everywhere!

A Time to Move

I said that there would be exciting news coming- here it is! I'm moving at the end of the summer!

Yup, you heard that one right. No, I'm not leaving Israel. I'm not even leaving Yerushalayim. I'm just moving to a new neighborhood in this Holy City for a more permanent stay. I've been quite transient for the last 4-5 years, so I'm hoping that this will be my final move.

I will miss my neighborhood that I've lived in for the past year (well, almost), very much. The people, the neighbors, the atmosphere- all were perfectly conducive to any and everything I could have ever wanted. Unfortunately, the price of living in this neighborhood was just too high for us- so we have to move somewhere where we can afford to stay. In addition, we want to permanently live in Israel- so this next move is the final stroke of the hammer.

Mr. NMF, NBD, and I took a trip to Ashdod- to check out the giant boat (well, not really, they wouldn't let us see it) that was carrying our stuff from the States to Israel. We had to deal with taxes, shipping costs, and delivery. We sent a lift from the US, so we haven't seen our stuff in about a year.

Now comes all the stuff that I missed doing as a serious newlywed: (My neighbor here says Shana Rishona lasts the first 5 years, and you're still a newlywed for 15. So, I guess I'm NMF for a long time!) Appliance shopping, furniture shopping, unpacking, repacking, and settling down. (Any advice from native Israelis would come in handy- feel free to comment/email me!)

I really can't wait to settle down in Yerushalayim. It'll make me feel like I have a real place in this world, in this land. Something tangible, that I can actually feel. Plus, the neighborhood we're moving to is a great place, with a community I can't wait to join.

Ashdod was rather fun- although we didn't get to see much of it besides the port area. Gila Penina gave us great directions. We did have a bit of trouble with customs- so we headed to the customs office to sort that one out. NBD helped there- any Israeli that saw my sweet daughter said, "Aize Chamuda! (Such a cutie!)", which effectively helped us get through there rather quickly.

On our way back, we stopped at the beach in Ashkelon- such blue water and salty breezes. There, Mr. NMF said a wonderful Dvar Torah- which I will remember for a long time.

He mentioned that our stuff is just that: stuff. Gashmiyus. Items. Things that won't travel with us- like the 'chicken fat' in that famous mashal. But when we use it to build a Jewish home- it becomes far more than just stuff. A plain old bookcase becomes something to hold Sefarim. Plates and dishes are used for Shabbos, Yom Tov, and Hachnosas Orchim (inviting guests). We elevate all we use into a Mitzva. And that's truly phenomenal!

There is a time to move. But at least we're lucky enough to stay in Israel, the most wonderful land of all.

Newsworthy Notes

Well, there have been lots of stuff and things (colloquial, I know) going on in the news lately, and frankly, although I've been reading it, I just haven't had time to post.

We have guests from America coming to us for the ENTIRE summer- and I've been in a bit of a cleaning frenzy. No, I don't think they'll notice if my bathrooms aren't shiny, but I feel like a clean home shows that a Kollel couple doesn't live in shmutz and dirt, but rather, also maintains the aesthetic appearance of their home.

It's like a Kiddush Hashem (sanctifying G-d's name)- although I'm sure there are those who would say that it doesn't matter at all.

So, what's newsworthy nowadays? Let's see.

The Yeshiva World reported that the number 2 bus has 'unofficially' gone mehadrin, with women, by themselves, moving to the back, and men sitting in front. People commented that it isn't fair to force mehadrin status on a bus without it actually being mehadrin- but I feel that if people do it by themselves, then what's the problem?

I haven't taken the 2 lately, but as long as everyone is behaving 'menschlichdik'- that is, if a woman does sit in the front, she should have the right to, without being the comment of derogatory remarks or deeds- then, again, it shouldn't be a problem.

However, there is a committee working on getting all the mehadrin lines in Yerushalayim canceled. At least, according to the Yeshiva World article. I know that Mr. NMF won't step onto a crowded bus- packed beyond comparison when the doors can't even close properly, if he's going to get squashed between two women. He'll wait for the next one. So, it would be a shame if all the mehadrin lines were closed due to the inappropriate actions of some people who felt that tznius was more important than that 'other' commandment of shaming another Jew (or worse, hurting another Jew) in public.

Let's face it: people can comment quietly, or mention that it would be nice if they would move to the back (quietly) but they most certainly can not shame another Jew. It says in the Gemara (Sotah 10b, if I'm not mistaken) that one should rather jump into a fiery furnace than embarrass another Jew in public. Even for tznius- as proven by the story of Yehudah and Tamar. In that same Gemara, it then equates public embarrassment with murder, immoral actions, and idol worship- all sins that one should rather kill themselves than do.

Why can't women get on the front and men in the back? I have a reason (maybe there are more)- but women are the gender most often accompanied by a stroller, and strollers legally can only enter on the backs of buses for safety reasons. So therefore, women enter on through the back, and to make life easier, they sit in the back as well. Imagine getting on the bus with a heavy stroller, and then having to drag it all the way to the front!

Speaking of strollers, in baby related news- a great-great-great grandchild was born to R' Elyashiv. That child is also related to R' Chaim Kanievsky, and R' Aharon Leib Shteinman. Wow- that kid has yichus! And, such a zechus (privilege) for someone to live to see their great-great-great granchild!

In other child related news, there was a beautiful gathering at the Kotel this past Rosh Chodesh, for fathers and sons, all to say the special Tefilas HaShlah (usually said on Erev Rosh Chodesh Sivan, but that came out on Shabbos), and for a Hachnasas Sefer Torah in memory of Rav Meir Shapiro zt'l- the father of the Daf Yomi movement.

I think that is so beautiful and phenomenal- that everyone would gather like that- parents to say a tefillah for the well being of their children- and for the Daf Yomi movement- it must have been a truly beautiful and heartwarming sight. For all those interested (I'm sure the Shlah wouldn't mind it being said on other times of the year) the Tefillas HaShlah is here.

I'm sure you've all read on SuperRaizy's blog about the new JAP doll- American Girl is putting out a Jewish doll, living in the tenements on the Lower East Side, with a grandmother called Bubbie. Sadly, she and her family are forced to work on Shabbos to make a living. But, at least the people at American girl got the situation right!

I never really heard about this, until I read the NY Times article. It seems that there was discrimination against Jewish doctors in the US during the time of WWII. They didn't want to hire or accept so many Jews as doctors, due to the war and anti-semitism. Yet, one doctor, Dr. Putnam, stood up, and hired the top Jewish neurologists of his day. And he was fired for it. Wow- what a story. He was a brave and courageous person.

Finally- Neve Yaakov residents are arguing over a shul...on wheels. Depressingly, the city has not given Neve Yaakov money for a permanent structure, nor allowed the construction of one, so therefore, the residents put a shul on wheels that would change places every three months.

Yet, there have been complaints about it, from both sides- those that don't want a chareid shul in their area, as Neve Yaakov is slowly becoming 'black'- and from those charedim who just want a permanent shul of their own. I hope that one day, disputes like this will be resolved, and all of Am Yisroel, the Jewish nation, will join together as one whole.

That's my news roundup for the week! Phew. Now, back to scrubbing my floors.

Ramat Eshkol Video

WARNING LABEL:
Firstly, I don't live in Ramat Eshkol. And, I don't own a Bugaboo.
Secondly, no offense meant to any of my readers from Ramat Eshkol. (The video is kind of satirical though.)

I found this video hysterical- and now, on to the show!

Chesed and Neighbors

I know I've posted before on the phenomenal amount of Chesed that goes on here in Israel- but being the recipient of some recently, I just had to say it again.

My family has been blessed. When my family moved to a frum community in America, (they were living a bit further out before), they looked for a house in the neighborhood. They didn't even check the neighbors out, just the general area.
They moved in, and were blessed by Hashem with phenomenal neighbors. Neighbors that care, that ask, that give without thought of repayment.

Neighbors that do chesed on a daily basis- from walking the elderly man on our block to shul every day, to babysitting in a pinch, or a friendly visit from the doctor who lives down the block. When a child got sick, or a person got married- the whole block was there, helping and giving. Thank you all.

Then, I moved to Israel. And again- we didn't check out the 'courtyard', but rather, the neighborhood in general. And again, Hashem gave us a tremendous bracha by giving us devoted, caring neighbors.

Recently, when I was in the hospital with NBD (Newly Born Daughter. Thanks, Anonymous 613), my neighbors sent so much food- an army could have been happily satiated. I got visitors, people who took off from their schedules to give me a hello, and I received advice, as being here without family makes it hard to adjust to motherhood. I came home- and people brought supper, brought advice, made phone calls, and helped me so much that I wouldn't know what to do without them. And all of this- why? They're my neighbors.
I feel so blessed.

Although- this brings up an interesting point, that I've mentioned before. Do you choose a neighborhood for the neighbors? Or do you choose it for other factors- school, community, lifestyle, religiosity, and hope that it all falls into place?
What's the most important thing to look for?

Chinuch Atzmai Situation

I've been debating on and off whether to write this post or not.

I would like to state first that I don't know the entire story- as I don't live in this neighborhood- and I have tried to verify if this is true- most sources whom I've talked to have said that it is true.

The only news that reported it was Yeshiva World News- but that makes sense, as it is a problem for the frum Jewish community.

I would also like to remind my readers that I am newly married- I don't have children yet. If I did, I wouldn't want them to be treated like this. I was appalled and shocked when I read the first article, and the second only escalated my fears on how my children might be treated if I raise them in Israel. I spoke to one of my own rabbanim, who said that although it is wrong, the situation should clear itself up, and my children would probably not experience what a lawyer-friend of mine called, "a clear example of segregation and discrimination in today's times."

Such an action could probably lead to people suing one another in the US. A quote from the articles illustrates the 'excuses' given for the segregation.

In addition, the parents of the American girls also signed a document to accept the current realities, namely the separate classes, and now, in the middle of the year, undoing such a reality is not advisable, considering it takes weeks and weeks of intensive work to set up the classes. At present, there are four parallel classes so such a move would impact many many girls.

In short, the separation of the Americans was in no way intended as a punishment, but as a respectable solution to the fact that the children have differences, have difficulty speaking with Israeli girls, and fit together better than attempted integration at this time. We want the girls in the school, and in time, they will acclimate to Eretz Yisrael. The school placed their best teacher in the American class, not wishing to compromise their education in anyway. One can easily understand when there are 10 girls in a classroom who naturally speak English, their native tongue; it does result in a pedagogic and social problem in the classroom. We spoke with rabbonim, experienced professionals and many experts before making a decision as to addressing the social & language gap.

Here are the articles. I'm going to let my readers decide for themselves.
This is the first article printed.
This was the second, and the third. This was the school, and Chinuch Atzmai's response in the fourth- here.

One thing is for sure- as an American planning to stay here in Israel- this shocked me, and made me worry for the future. I hope this will be resolved by the talented rabbaim working on this case- like R' Yitzchak Berkowitz, Rav of Sanhedria Murchevet.

Shabbos and Neighborhoods

I spent a lovely Shabbos with my guests from Chutz La'aretz- slightly jet lagged, but a very nice Shabbos none the less. While sitting at the table, with my neighbors and my guests, the talk turned to neighborhoods.

My neighbors were extolling the wonderful things about my neighborhood.
The place where I live is entirely frum,(religious) and as such, the streets are closed on Shabbos. The children head outside and jumprope in the place where cars usually drive, all the men are heading to and from shul and home, and the women enjoy a quiet Shabbos without the noise of buses. Immediately after Shabbos, everything starts running again, breaking the still silence of peaceful Shabbos rest.

The schools here are excellent, there are shuls, and gans, and there are professionals located all over.

I listened to them- and commented how it was nice that even in this neighborhood, we have many different types of people- Lubavitch, Sephardi, Ashkenazi, Litvish, Yeshivish- all the fun labels- yet everyone gets along and associates with each other. They all agreed that that was a big maa'lah- benefit- to living here.

Yet I wonder. There are neighborhoods that are all frum, that associate with many different types of people, yet they are labeled as more modern, or more yeshivish, or more something. Is that a good thing? Is it a good thing to be mixed in a melting pot, or does it reflect badly on the people that live there?

I always thought it was a good thing- but maybe people judge a neighborhood based on their immediate neighbors, and not by the whole?

Is it a good thing to have so much diversity? Or does it reflect negatively on the neighborhood, that it has so much going on, and so many different types? Would it be better to have just one type?

And how do these neighborhoods get these labels anyway?

So many questions- and I don't know if there are any outright answers.
But I'd love to hear thoughts.

"And he reaped 100 fold"

I love the place. I think that it's beautiful, ancient, welcoming, and feels spiritual just by walking through there. I love the people, and the walls, and the courtyards with wells.

I loved spending Shabbos there, with families who open up their homes and hearts to myriads of guests, some of whom you would be very surprised to find there.

I love exploring the twists and turns, finding my way through the alleyways to the people I know there. I enjoyed learning from them tricks of the trade- a really good sponja, the best Yerushalmi kugel. I saw the variety of people, and saw their acceptance, their beauty found in all forms of religious/charedi spirituality.

From reactions I've seen, most who visit see only the sign, proclaiming that all who are not dressed modestly shouldn't enter. They see those dressed in typical Yerushalmi garb, in shtreimels on Shabbos, and in three layers of clothing. They see the houses falling apart- leaning on each other like a building of wooden blocks tenuously holding their own. They see it as a place to visit, an exotic way of life that no one like them could ever attempt.

But, take the time. Meet the people- you'd be surprised. Walk around the neighborhood and see the children playing happily- the girls with their long braids, the boys with different yarmulkas and peyos swinging. See the women, smiling, holding their littlest one, and looking out their tiny porch window. Come on Shabbos- see all those heading to shul. See the fervor of their prayers and the songs they proclaim with joyful voices. Meet those families who have 1 room apartments but still host guests.

And then I wonder- could I live there? Could I be happy there? Could I see myself living their life? Would I feel alone- would anyone speak my language, or understand where I come from? Would I fit in?

You'd be surprised- after meeting many of these families, the answer might change from a definite - no chance- to a - I don't know- or - who knows. The answer might even be - possibly.

Visit it with new eyes the next time you come. You might be surprised at what you can find in the Yerushalmi neighborhood of Meah Shearim.

Realities of Real Estate

Israel seems to be one of the few places in the world that an apartment in one of the charedi (religious-ultra-orthodox) neighborhoods can cost at least double what a house in an out-of-town neighborhood in the US costs.

Shocking, no?

I mean- Israeli apartments are not big- measured in meters, an average apartment of 2 bedrooms (the apartments are usually categorized by rooms- so a 2 bedroom apartment has 3 rooms- 2 bedrooms plus a dining room/living room- salon) is around 60 square meters. Let's face it- 60 square meters is a doll house. And, families of 5 kids will live in those apartments, because they can't afford to get anything bigger, and because the location is excellent.
The bigger the apartment is, the more mirpesets (porches- sometimes used for succahs), and the location are all factors in the price, but the prices are exorbitant, and keep growing.

Israeli families are accustomed to splitting the price of an apartment for a newly married couple, but oftentimes, they can't afford an apartment in Yerushalayim, and have to buy in one of the beautiful neighborhoods outside- oftentimes at least 1/2 the price.

It's strange- but often the price jumps just because charedi Jews are interested in the area.

For example, Givat Tzarfatit- French Hill, is a neighborhood in Yerushalayim mostly populated by H. University students and teachers. However, it's a close location to the most central part of Yerushalayim. So, charedi people started moving in. When they first started, about a year- 1/2 a year a ago, the prices were normal, average. Now, these prices are almost as expensive as a totally charedi neighborhood. And, as far as can be accounted for, there are actually only 10 charedi families living in French Hill, with more who bought but don't live there.

Neve Yaakov- a fairly new charedi neighborhood- has had its prices jump by 40,000 dollars in the last 1/2 a year, because more charedi are interested in it.

And, the prices keep growing. More apartments are being built, but usually they are luxury apartments, meant for American/Chutz L'Aaretz buyers who want an apartment in Israel. So, the average Israeli can't really afford them.

But, then you look at this concept, and realize something.

Everyone looking for an apartment wants an apartment in Yerushalayim. They want an apartment as close to the place where the Beis HaMikdash stood as possible. And, they don't care that it's 60 meters, or that it's falling apart, or that the prices are astronomical. They want to live in Israel. They want to look out their window, and see the hills of Yerushalayim.

There's a story told about R' Aryeh Levine, Tzaddik of Yerushalayim. (He was the father-in-law of R' Elyashiv, shlita.) He was always doing chesed with others- stories about him are famous. He lived in a one bedroom apartment in Yerushalayim. When others heard how ramshackle and poorly he was living, they offered to buy him a bigger, much nicer apartment somewhere else.

He refused.

When asked why, he took them over to his kitchen window, and drew the shades. Through the glass was a stunning view of the Kotel (Western Wall) in all its glory. He responded that he wouldn't trade this view for anything.

So, it makes sense- why people live in the smallest apartments that you can imagine, and still manage to host guests. They want to be in a Makom HaShchina (place of the Divine Presence). They want to live a life of Torah in a charedi neighborhood.

So, whether it has 2 bedrooms or 6, it's home.