Leiby Kletzky

Chana's post about Leiby Kletzky says it all.

The song she quotes- A rose among the flowers- is the song that rings in my head when thinking about the passing of former classmates of mine- Aviva and Chaya, a"H. The song states the tale of how the king found a precious rose in his garden, and rather than let it stay and wilt, he plucked it before its time to be by him. If anyone has the whole lyrics- I am searching for them. It begins: "Once upon a kingdom, so very long ago..."

Hashem took these pure neshamos from us so quickly, and the only thoughts I have are that they must be such pure roses for G-d to want them in His garden near Him.

May Hashem comfort all mourners for Leiby, a"H, and for all those children who are taken from us early.

Silent Scream

Yes, the title is a bit freaky. But that's the song from the Shira Chadasha Boys' Choir that makes me tear up every time I hear it.

It's an emotional song, about Chana, the mother of Shmuel HaNavi, (Samuel the Prophet), one of the Jewish people's greatest leaders. Most who read this blog know that Chana suffered from infertility- as the first wife of Elkanah, she watched as her co-wife, Penina, bore child after child, while she had none. Penina (albeit with good intentions) even teased her about the fact in order to get Chana to pray to G-d with more fervor.

Chana eventually had a child, Shmuel, who's name means that G-d listened to her. My husband and I continually have a fight (well, more of an argument) on what Chana asked for in a child. I learnt, as did many of the women I checked with, that Chana asked for a normal child- average, nothing extraordinarily different, but she was granted the exceptional. He learnt (and looked up for me) that Chana wanted a child like Moshe and Aharon, (Moses and Aaron) and was granted her request, showing the importance of prayer, and of belief in our children. (Did anyone else hear one of these explainations?)

Either way- this song truly captures the essence of Chana's plea to G-d, and her reward. May all those suffering from the utter pain that is infertility find hope in the story of Chana, and may G-d bless them with children in abundance.

Sorry about the annoying background, but it was the only youtube I could find easily to link to. Listen to the words, forget about the screen.

Israel Air Force Induction 2011

I couldn't attend- grad school interfered- but I sent my mother, a recent immigrant to the country to the IAF- Israel Air Force induction ceremony in Be'ersheva. Nefesh B'Nefesh tracked down some extra tickets for this amazing experience, and armed with a Teudat Zehut and a love of Israel- my mother was allowed to attend.

It is only open to those who are relatives of the pilots, former pilots, and any of those with the special tickets granted to the event.

Speaking to my mother after the event, she remarked that it was a truly beautiful experience. All the pilots, neat, handsome, polite and respectful, were truly a sight to behold. HaTikva was sung with grace, and a music concert lightened up the air.

The pilots themselves showed off the individual planes, speaking in English and in Hebrew, and answering questions to all who wanted. There was an air show, with precision moves, gracefully sweeping through the sky, for two hours of awe and amazement. Many of the pilots were wearing kippahs, my mother said, many were religious as well. All were absolutely proud and joyful that they reached this day and earned their wings.

A proud parent of a pilot remarked to my mother that he himself was in the 1967 war, and it was only due to the pilots in the air that he on the ground lived to see this day. He stood there with his son the pilot, his other son the yeshiva student, and all with proud grins on their faces.

May G-d safeguard these soldiers- may they never have to use their excellent skills in war, and if they do, let them all come safely home.

I would like to write, but...

I feel like I have a list of excuses why I never post any more, with the major ones being: work, school, NBD (who is not so NB anymore!) , Mr. NMF, family, friends, and so on.

So many beautiful things have happened here in Israel since I posted last.
Chesed abounds in this fabulous country- and I have been the recipient of much of it.

There is a custom in some Jewish families' households to hang pictures of famous rabbis that they would like to emulate on their wall, in the fulfillment of the verse that our eyes should view our teachers. Namely, that everyone that you hang on your wall should be someone that you would like to learn from.

After rereading for the dozenth time about R' Aryeh Levin, ztl, I would love to put him on my wall. Why? Simply that his Ahavas Yisroel- love for all Jews- knew no boundaries- across religious and nonreligious barriers, across political barriers, and ideological barriers. The chesed (lovingkindness) he performed for so many Jewish people- it defies logic.

Here's a quick story from his life. A man that R' Aryeh Levin knew as one of the fellow teachers in his school had to stay up all night with a sick member of his household. As such, he was falling asleep during the day, and up all night- ruining his livelihood. One night there was a knock on this man's door. R' Aryeh and his wife were standing there in the darkness. R' Aryeh said, "Now you can go to sleep. My wife and I need to discuss something privately, and we can't doing at home for fear the children will overhear."

He was known as the Rabbi of the Prisoners- for his job of visiting them every week, rain or shine, sleet or not- political uprising, or not. When the prisoners were asked if he should become formally the Rabbi of the Prison- they were all for it. But it never ended up happening for various political machinations. In the end- the prisoners remarked- that it was a good thing- for R' Aryeh was never the Prison Rabbi- but the Rabbi of the Prisoners. It wouldn't have suited him.

Chesed abounds in this county- I just have to wake up and see it. And then write about it so you can see it too.

Tough Exterior, Hearts of Gold

It gets me everytime. These hard boiled Israeli people- said in the nicest possible way of course- just melt at the slightest emotion.

They live through wars, send their children to be soldiers, work hard, pray hard, learn hard- life in Israel is hard. After all, it's a Gemara- Israel was given with trials and tribulations.

But when the guard makes silly faces at my 2 year old, or the mother on the bus carrying her packages home from Machane Yehuda Shuk helps another young mother wrap up her newborn, or even when the post office lady doesn't yell at me today because I have my toddler with me- I just melt.

This is such a special country. Tough exteriors, hearts of gold. No wonder this city is called Jerusalem of Gold. It reflects their souls.

Parenting Perspective

Okay, I admit it. My husband says I'm part of a cult. And sometimes I agree.

How so? Well, I'm a bit of a [says in quiet undertone voice] attachment parenting mama.

Flee while you still can!! I am one of those! You know the kind, the ones who are active (or like me, used to be active since I have NO time right now, but still give advice when asked) in La Leche League (which speaking of that, there are 2 awesome groups, one in Hebrew and one in English running in Jerusalem right now- email me for details).

The kind that breastfeeds a toddler, interested in baby led weaning or baby led foods, tries to wear or hold her baby as much as possible, doesn't believe in cry it out sleep training, has co-slept with her baby for now close to 2 years, and still has her in her room when not... I know. I'm a freak. I'm facing it.

It's not a cult, I tell my husband- I raise a happy, well adjusted, independant, smart, courageous and adorable toddler this way! Her needs are met, I am in her life, despite working during the day, and all is right with the world! And then he conceeds, that yes, everyone is happy- and then mutters "LLL, it's a cult" under his breath. And we both laugh.

Now. I am usually a very non-judgmental person. I try very hard to be like this. The problem is usually not me- but people around me. Like for example, if someone mentions she's giving her one year old milk, and I remark, "Oh that's nice.", she immediately feels she has to defend herself and say, "Well, I breastfeed for a year, and now I need a break, and I'm happier and so is he, so now we stopped nursing."

Okay lady. I get it. And truthfully, a side of me says- yay! You are happy and your baby is happy! So what's the problem? I certainly don't care! I think 3 days of breastfeeding is a huge accomplishment and mothers should get awards for it!
Yet AP parents get a flak, sort of, of being judgmental of others' parenting, so hence the response.

Yay! I'm happy you found a bedtime routine that works for you. Do you really think I care that your kid is in another room than you? Do what works! As a wise friend once said- if it ain't broke, don't fix it. (Now, if you let your kid scream for hours alone to get that result, don't expect me to praise you. I may nod and say, OK, but I'm certainly not going to lambast you in public for it. If I feel you are receptive to a comment, I may recommend The No-Cry Sleep Solution as an alternative.)

So I'm throwing this out to the blogosphere. Do you feel people judge you on your parenting style? Are you judgmental of others? Do people feel they have to defend their style to you?

Chanukah in Israel

One of my favorite holidays of all time- but here in Israel, Chanukah is taken to a new level.
Besides for my daughter having learnt in Gan for the last 3 weeks consecutively every last detail about Chanukah- dreidel spins, menorahs are polished and then lit with oil, the Pach Shemen was very important- did I leave anything out- and then actually coming home with several songs about Chanukah, Israel tends to make a big deal about this holiday.
The Ubiquitous Sufganiyot line the street, so much so that you can smell them practically everywhere- caramel, jelly, and plain- you name it, they've got it. Livivot, or Latkes, are being baked everywhere, so potatoes are on sale at your local grocery or makolet.

But not only that- traffic hits a new high at around 4 pm, as everyone frantically rushes home to light their candles as soon as they possibly can. I got home at 5- and my whole block (practically) had their menorahs already proudly displayed in their windows, or in the aquarium boxes on the street. The Kollel men shift their schedule tocome home at 4 and then head back at 6.

I guess it's nice having such a nice, big, deal made of the Chag HaORim, Festival of Lights. It's beautiful to see even those who are not religious celebrating this day. Where I work made a special effort to erect a menorah and light it on time for all the workers still there.

So whereever you are, have a very Happy Chanukah this year, and may we be able to see the Temple that the Jewish people fought for rebuilt speedily in our day.

Top Ten Things I'm Grateful For

I think it was R' Avigdor Miller who said that one should write a list every once in a while to say thank you to Hashem for all the good He does for us. This can also be applicable to everyone- as everyone has something to be grateful for. In one of R' Shimshon Pincus's books, he says that every mitzvah leads a person to realize something he/she is grateful for. If you see a Mezuzah, and you head to kiss it- be grateful you have a house. If you get something Shatnez-checked- be grateful you have clothing, and so on. Each leads to a way to thank Hashem for all we have.
Without further ado: Top Ten Today (not necessarily in perfect order)

1. Breathing- air- respiration- oxygen
2. My body, with all of it's intricacies, from the organ to the cellular level
3. My Neshama- soul
4. My Parents and Family
5. My Husband
6. My daughter
7. Having a Parnasa in these rough times
8. The world we live in- the sky, the earth, the grass, the trees, the beauty
9. Yerushalayim- the zechus to live here, and this special city
10. The ability to think.

Erev Shabbos #25- Short Friday

People view me as a generally 'emotional' person- when I'm happy, I'm happy, sad, sad, excited, angry- you name it, I display it. It's something I think I have to work on in my life. After all, my face is public property.

But no more of that- frantic- is the emotion I generally feel on a Friday afternoon that leads to a Short Erev Shabbos. After all- I have to have everything ready by 4:00 in the afternoon- and no, I don't cook during the week. All is done on Friday, fresh and early. Even if I have guests, most of the time I don't prepare in advance.

I do however, during each recipe on a given Friday, try to make doubles or triples- to stash up in my freezer for times of need, a friend in need, or an emergency.

Yet early Shabbosim, and the Short Friday syndrome (everything is always ready, exactly when Shabbos starts, no matter what time it is) often prevent me from doing everything.

A rebbitzen in our community once discussed a lady who was very stressed out on Erev Shabbos. The lady complained that she had no time, and couldn't manage to get everything done, so she vented her frustration on her husband and family. (I'm sure we all can relate to that.) So my rebbitzen's answer- buy some ready made and use paper and plastic. Hence the reason that she is a practical rebbitzen, and I am not.

So I try. But- sometimes the Short Friday overtakes me, and I'm found rushing from one thing to the next, ordering my family around, and generally frantically frustrating the world.

Yet I continue to hope that every week I will find the right balance- between getting everything done, and getting frantic about it- between having it all and doing what I need to do.

It's a work in progress- just like my kugels. But it'll happen eventually- with Siyata Dishmaya- help from Heaven.

Busy, Busy, Yet Grateful

Busy doesn't even begin to describe it- what with deadlines, school, work, home, house, and family.

Chanukah always has meant to me a time when one could actually celebrate and relax with family. Thanksgiving was a family time too- but due to family members having different dietary requirements (ie, kosher and not) and differing schedules, it wasn't always celebrated, except with the obligatory turkey on sale.

But Chanukah was different. Gathered together, around the menorah as the lighting commenced, the little ones hanging around, my mother playing the piano's sweet tunes- I can't even remember a Chanukah in which my family wasn't together in some shape and form.

That family togetherness is something that I realize doesn't always happen by everyone. In Israel, the kollel men have a weird schedule, in which they come home really early to light the menorah exactly on time, and then go back. It's not like the family gatherings that started at a covenient 7-8 for everyone. But the togetherness is still there.

And that's what I'm thankful for today- the time to reflect on the fact that I have a family, that we do try to come together, and that they all still want to spend time with each other. That in of itself is a miracle- that everyone is willing to spend time together, to join in something so simple- yet so powerful.

So Happy Thanksgiving to all- and a future Happy Chanukah. May we all realize the things that we are most grateful for.

Baruch Dayan HaEmet

Baruch Dayan HaEmet - Blessed is the True Judge.

This is the blessing said upon hearing the news of someone's death.

About 11:10 AM this morning (Friday), RivkA, of the CoffeeandChemo blog, passed away.

Funeral plans are in the process.

May RivkA's family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.


Please daven (or send happy thoughts) for the memory of RivkA bat Teirtzel.

10 Things I Learned in America

Yes, SD, I'm stealing your Top 10 idea, even though it's Wednesday.

I'm back, after a long and harrowing trip. We had our ups and our downs- lost luggage, close connection flights, and busy days and nights. I'm so thankful to be back.

So here's my list of things I learned in America.

10. American money was almost unrecognizable to me- it's so big, and green. I felt like it was Monopoly money. You know how everyone says that America is cheaper- somehow, I didn't get that impression, when a bottle of Snapple has jumped from 1.25 to 1.50 or even 2 dollars, and a slice of pizza is now $2.50. How times have changed.

9. Snapple rules. Israel should import it. That's all I'm saying. Especially diet Snapple.

8. I forgot how polite Americans are- holding doors open, saying excuse me, please, and hi. I almost hit my own head when I responded like an Israeli would to someone randomly saying hi to me. I said, "Do I know you?" I learned by that that I have integrated well in to Sabra culture.

7. It is nice to have a car once in a while- but finding parking spaces in New York is impossible. It's got to be one of the three: a driveway, a fire hydrant, or a no parking sign.

6. El Al rules. I could give a giant review on how wonderful they are- but it'll wait for another post.

5. Wal-mart is amazingly wonderful- just as I remembered it. And, courtesy of the Jewish Press, I saw that they are in talks to open stores in Israel. After all, many Wal-mart products are made in Israel anyway, so it would be easy. My dream of it coming here is not far away.

4. American news sometimes knows more about what is happening in Israel than the Israeli news does. Other times they get it totally wrong. (Well, usually they do.)

3. When people ask where you are from, and you say Israel- they usually respond with shock. I guess the news really does a number on people. But when you compare Israel lifestyle with Manhattan- they understand completely.

2. Israel coffee is better than US coffee. Even iced, or carmelized, or whatever. It's a known fact. I used to dream about US coffee while living here, but now that I've gone back after tasting Israeli- either my taste buds have changed, or the coffee has- or I just never gave Israeli coffee the chance it deserved. Cafe Neeman here I come.

1. That Israel is (for me) one of the best places on Earth- and I'm so glad to be back.

Comparative Religion

A NYTimes Article struck my eye- "Basic Religion Test Stumps Many Believers"- in that a survey was sent out with basic questions about different religions, and most answered incorrectly (more than half) as well as people answering wrongly about their ownreligion. However- out of all the people in the US who took the survey, atheists and agnostics, as well as Jews and Mormons- scored the highest in knowledge.

That's pretty good, I think- that we actually, as Jews- know what we are talking about- about our own religion, and about others. And, the atheist statistic doesn't surprise me either- I think that most feel that they have to do research before coming to such a decision about faith. Realize, though, that I said most- I have found so many irreligious Jews who don't do research at all- who don't know about anything really, that has to do with religion, Jewish or other.

But what was saddening to me was that 43% of Jews didn't know that the Rambam- Maimonides- was Jewish. What do you think the explanation for that was?

Chofesh: Why Israel Is So Cool

Yep, I'm typing this from Ben Gurion, as I wait for my flight out of Israel. Yet another reason why Israel is truly awesome, to be hippie-like: there is free Wi-Fi internet access. In all other airports that I've been at- it's a paying enviroment- but here it's not.

Anyway- I'm on my first Chofesh- ie, vacation- in the last year and a half- and I'm determined to enjoy it and relax. Israel also makes me appreciate vacations- since they give them so infrequently, I appreciate them more when they actually show up- and coincide with a time that I can actually use. Again, another reason why Israel is cool.

Interesting fact: To get an esrog (citron commonly used for Succos) out of Israel, you need a special certificate stating that it is not infested with bugs. Any esrog dealer should have a few lying around- don't forget to ask for one, otherwise customs will give you a hard time. But it's all worth it for an Esrog from Israel.

So L'hitraot, and Chag Sameach!

A Small Bit of the Kibbutz

My Ulpan is still going on, and with it they are celebrating the 100th year anniversary of the establishment of the Kibbutz. We have been shown films, text, and other various presentations regarding the establishment of the Kibbutz, Kibbutz life, shared life, living, sleeping, shared education, and the eventual breaks among the Kibbutz and among the movement.

I am definitely not the expert of a Kibbutz. I’ve read Batya Gur’s ‘Murder on a Kibbutz’, which was illuminating, heard the words of various Israeli writers on the subject, and recently watched the documentary film of Ran Tal- ‘Yeldei HaShemesh’.

Ran Tal spoke personally to the group afterwards, and mentioned an interesting point- that before one judges the kibbutz society, and how they lived, with the minimal time spent with parents, and the shared environment in general- one should see that in families where there are problems among the family itself- a broken home, an abusive home, and so on- that the family model is not necessarily perfect either. The Kibbutz model has different problems, but neither model is perfect.

In R’ Mattisyahu Solomon’s recent book, ‘With Hearts Full of Love’, on Chinuch, he discusses the interesting idea that before a Jewish marriage, no one presents the young couple a certificate, or even a training course, saying that they are fit to become parents. He questions why not, and his answer is that he believes that within each person, within in each Jewish marriage, they are equipped with all the necessary tools to educate their future children, albeit if they need advice or so on- but they have the tools necessary.

The kibbutz movement felt to eliminate these problems would be to create this shared environment, to make sure that the children would be educated and so on in the way that they wished, without these problems. I can see their point- from their side, but watching this movie brought tears to my eyes.

To see these young parents not being able to relate to their own children, because they were not brought up with love from their own parents, to not being able to even give them a kiss or a hug from true feeling, simply because they were brought up in the kibbutz lifestyle. To see a sobbing child being brought back to the shared children’s room, and crying for their Ima, until the wee hours of the night, or to stay awake all night, afraid to go to sleep- it’s the saddest thing in the world. To see a child, sneak out of the children’s room, wandering outside in the dark till they found their parent’s room, and then to sleep outside the door, or to clutch their parents’ sheet, but not wake them at all- simply because their parents would bring them back- just to be in the same room with them- it literally made me cry.

For one, I am glad that the Kibbutz movement eventually got rid of shared sleeping spaces- but it taught me something powerful: there is nothing more important in a family than the loving relationship between a parent and child. And how blessed I am to go home to my daughter, to hug her and to kiss her, and to be a true family with her.

Only In Israel #21: Of Cabs and Mitzvahs

A friend of mine recently took ill, and was sent by her doctor to Shaare Tzedek Hospital in Jerusalem. She’s a new olah, with no family in Israel, so when she was admitted, she decided to call me, hoping to get a visitor, a listening ear, and someone who spoke Hebrew to come help her out in the hospital.

So, after much dithering on my part (it was late at night, and I do have a little one at home and a husband to feed supper) I called a cab, and away we went.
The cab driver, a middle aged guy who was not wearing a kippah, noticed my morose mood on my face, and asked what was doing. I replied with the tale ofmy friend the olah, who needs someone by her side in the hospital, and how I’m jumping in a cab to go help her out, since I’m the only person available help her.

He listened, interjecting remarks, and then replied, “You know, you’re doing a BIG mitzvah. Actually, two big mitzvot. One, you’re visiting a sick friend who needs you. Two, you’re being like family to her- doing such a great chesed by coming to her aid as a new person in Israel without family.”

He continued without prompting. “You know, you’re like my wife. She goes up to the Rav of our Beit Knesset and asks, who are families that need food, who need support- and quietly, privately, she sends them food and necessary items, she offers them a shoulder to cry on, and a listening ear. It’s a big mitzvah.”

I listened, heartened to hear that one more member of Am Yisroel is doing such a wonderful thing.

He drove me to my husband, who I picked up on the way, nad then to Shaare Tzedek. When I asked for the price- he quoted something very low. When I asked why- he said, I too want a share in this mitzvah.

How’s that for OII!!

Aseret Yemei Teshuva

Rosh Hashana passed here, along with its uncommon three day Yom Tov here in Israel. Even after only a few years here in Israel, I still feel it odd to actually celebrate three days of Yom Tov. After all, most holidays here only last at maximum two days, and we end earlier than outside of Israel, which is especially nice for Pesach.

And now we enter in to a new stage- the Aseret Yemei Teshuva- from Alef of Tishrei of Rosh Hashana to the Yud of Yom Kippur. Along with the buses that have switched their flashing phrase from ‘Shana Tova’ to ‘Gemar Chatimah Tovah’, and the Kaparot stations that have found their way to every street corner, alleyway, and intersection- it also comes a feeling of limbo.

Our jobs from Heaven have been set out for us on Rosh HaShana, the final Din is reiterated on Yom Kippur in clay, and sealed in blood on Hoshana Rabbah. We’re in between, in a bit of limbo, without a concrete stage of life to understand. After all- we try our best during these ten days to just be a bit better- to add in more prayers to our every day ones, to try to do what we would like to do during the rest of the year, but somehow are prevented from doing. But we’re still in limbo- one good thing could just push us over the edge, right into that book of life.

So let’s make a proactive effort. Take on one small thing- one thing to push you over that edge, to try to make you into that better person that you have in your own ideals and dreams. And try it for the rest of these days- see what happens. It’s the little steps that count- and that which can pull us out of limbo and into the Hebrew ‘Chaim’- life and all that it represents.

Gmar Chatima Tovah L’Kulam.

OII: Seasons and Buses

Just noticing that again, just in this wonderful country that we call Israel, even the buses wish you a Shana Tova and a Gemar Chasima Tova on their flashing signs which also state which place they are going.

And I wish you all the same- to all my readers, a Shana Tova- happy New Year- and a Gemar Chasima Tovah. May we all continue to be inscribed in the Book of Life- filled with happiness, joy, blessing, health, and prosperity.

Leaving the Holy Land

No, I'm not leaving- I just got here. But I might be back to visit the good old U.S. of A. sometime in the near future. And you know what?

The thought is making me antsy. Not the good things about it: being able to see friends and relatives again, do some much needed shopping (ie: pick up things that are either only available in the US, or cheaper there- anyone who wishes to help me with this at any time is free to email me), and bring a bit of the Holy Land there. On the other hand, how can I leave Israel?
To not see my blue sky, my crisp white stone buildings- the air, the atmosphere- the general feeling that it impresses on my psyche?

And NBD (should I come up with another name for her now that she's 1 1/2? ) has never been outside of the Holy Land. When I made aliyah with her, the Misrad HaKlita (Ministry of Absorption) asked me when her entry into Israel was, as it was not written in her passport. I replied, "She was born here." They then duly recorded her date of birth as the entry into this special place. Like Yitzchak Avinu, who never left the Holy Land in his lifetime unless instructed by G-d- how can I take here out of here, even for a short time?

There are rabbinic responses listed as to for what reasons one can leave Israel. I think that R' Moshe Feinstein is the posek involved who gave the reasoning that if parents want one to come back to Chutz L'Aaretz to visit- that would be enough of a reason. But the simple truth shows that one needs a pretty good reason to leave Israel.

When all is said and done, I still don't know if we will be leaving or not. But I do know that if we do leave, I will be pining for my Yerushalyim every day that I'm gone.

Ulpan 3: The Questions

Why do Jewish married women cover their hair? (coming from the Muslim girl who doesn't cover her own hair in the class)
Why can't women sing in front of men that don't mind hearing women sing anyway? Can you sing under your breath?
Why don't religious Jews serve in the army?
What does Beitar Yerushalayim stand for (the soccer team) and who is Yosef Trompledor anyway? (I asked this one- and it turns out most of the class didn't know either. So much for educating the masses about Zionism.)
Can religious Jews throw stones on Shabbos if they set aside the stones before hand with that in mind?
Why do different Chassidic sects have different kippot, hats and payot?
Should there be buses that travel on Shabbos in Jerusalem?

And so on. Feel free to answer if you know. I for one had a lot of fun with some of these questions in class. I am proudly religious, so I truly don't mind when people ask me respectfully and honestly- not antagonistically, about the Jewish religion. I'm happy to give an answer, and to engage in discussion. What I'm not so happy about is trying to deal with the stereotypes, or the anti-charedism that comes along with it. It's hard for me to explain that a religious person who steals isn't religious, and that we are not 'you people' and so on.

How would you deal with some of these questions? Inquiring minds want to know. Respectfully of course.