Only In Israel #21: Of Cabs and Mitzvahs

A friend of mine recently took ill, and was sent by her doctor to Shaare Tzedek Hospital in Jerusalem. She’s a new olah, with no family in Israel, so when she was admitted, she decided to call me, hoping to get a visitor, a listening ear, and someone who spoke Hebrew to come help her out in the hospital.

So, after much dithering on my part (it was late at night, and I do have a little one at home and a husband to feed supper) I called a cab, and away we went.
The cab driver, a middle aged guy who was not wearing a kippah, noticed my morose mood on my face, and asked what was doing. I replied with the tale ofmy friend the olah, who needs someone by her side in the hospital, and how I’m jumping in a cab to go help her out, since I’m the only person available help her.

He listened, interjecting remarks, and then replied, “You know, you’re doing a BIG mitzvah. Actually, two big mitzvot. One, you’re visiting a sick friend who needs you. Two, you’re being like family to her- doing such a great chesed by coming to her aid as a new person in Israel without family.”

He continued without prompting. “You know, you’re like my wife. She goes up to the Rav of our Beit Knesset and asks, who are families that need food, who need support- and quietly, privately, she sends them food and necessary items, she offers them a shoulder to cry on, and a listening ear. It’s a big mitzvah.”

I listened, heartened to hear that one more member of Am Yisroel is doing such a wonderful thing.

He drove me to my husband, who I picked up on the way, nad then to Shaare Tzedek. When I asked for the price- he quoted something very low. When I asked why- he said, I too want a share in this mitzvah.

How’s that for OII!!

Tznius and Perception

Whether it's due to reading 6 Diaries recently, or just having too many conversations with friends on the same topic, I've come to the conclusion that certain areas of tznius are about perception.

Sometimes, someone is on a different level of tznius than others. Sometimes the chumras or ideas that one person takes on are not necessarily fit for another one, at least at a certain time. I know this sounds rather vague, but it has large applications.

For example, when I first arrived in Israel, unmarried, I was accustomed to wearing knee-high black stockings. Then, arriving in some of the charedi and other religious sector areas, I saw the girls wearing nude tights. Not opaque, just skin color. When I saw that I stood out like a red (or in this case, black) thumb, I decided to take upon myself to wear nude tights. When I arrived back in the US, I continued to wear them, and I haven't worn my black stocking since.
Now. Would I say that wearing nude tights is the best thing to do halachically, and everyone should take on this idea? No. For me, was it a good idea? Yes.

This has nothing to do with the Israel versus America debate on whether black or nude should be the appropriate color for women's stockings. (For an in depth analysis on that, see R' Falk's book, Oz V'Hadar Levusha.)

It's all a matter of a person's perception. A matter of what they want out of the mitzva of tznius, and what they are willing to do for themselves, on their level.

Here's another example. When I moved to Israel as a married lady, I was accustomed to wearing my shaitel, as that is what most people do in America. However, when I moved here, I switched to wearing mostly bandannas, tichels, and scarves, because I saw my compatriots do the same. But as I wrote in the comments on that post, there are tznius issues, like covering the hair right around one's temples, that I wasn't sure about. So, I called my rebbitzen, and she basically told me to do what the community does (and to consult R' Falk, who says that hair on the temples doesn't have to be covered).

So, when people look and see one wearing shoes that have closed toe- don't look at the girl as a frummy, and for the girl who covers those toes, don't look at those around you and say they are kofrim (rejectors of the mitzvos). It's all a matter of perspective, and a private perspective at that. That's the meaning of tznius.

OII #17- It's a Gemach, Not a Store

Well, I'm basically settled in, and I started to explore the neighborhood. But I had a secret confession to make: I used to live next door, literally, to a major cheap supermarket. So, I was determined to find a way to do my shopping in the same manner- convenient, close, and cheap.
Little did I know that those things are possibly oxymorons.

At first, I took the bus ride to the nearest large and cheap supermarket, thinking that with all the money I'll save, I can make up for the bus ride and delivery charges. This was true, but a major hassle.

Then, I found a smaller, not as cheap, but still large supermarket, a short bus ride away, that I would also have to pay for delivery. Not financially worthwhile, except on the days they have major sales.

I tried the store advertised in the local circular, but although they have sales, the other items are inflated to much higher prices.

The local market suited me fine, as it was a makolet with it all, but I heard rumors about the Arab men working there, and that just scared me off.
So where to shop?

Then I heard about the other local makolet. It was stocked with American products, albeit that the prices were sky high, but everyone, and I mean everyone, shopped there.
Why? What was the hype? I had to go and check it out.

The first odd thing that struck me was that the store owner was manning the checkout.
The second odd thing was that he said hello to me, and welcomed me to the neighborhood.
The third odd thing was that every one, all the workers, were Jewish, and not only that, but were extraordinarily helpful.
Even odder- they all spoke English.

So I shopped there. And continuing with the oddities, I was subjected to the help asking me if I needed any.

When I checked out, I asked for delivery, and how much it would cost. "Free," he remarks to me, asking where I live in the next breath.

There was a small notecard box next to him, and I immediately realized that this was a store where people shopped on credit. If they had money, or they didn't have money, everyone was able to buy food, and then pay it off when they needed to.

I remarked on my unusualy experience with the Rebbitzen of the neighborhood, and she informed me that the owner has a heart of gold. He can't stand to see anyone go hungry, and he allows all who need to pay over many months. "It's a 'gemach', not a store," she told me. He just keeps on giving, and those loyal customers who actually do pay are keeping his business afloat for those who can't.

Mi K'Amcha Yisroel- where a storekeeper uses his entire shop to perform mitzvos. May he continue to have success in his business.

Real Hiatus and Lost Items

Alright- here's the actual hiatus post. Until we get Internet hooked up in our new apartment, I'm offline. I should get it soon, but as the phone company won't actually install our phone line until Wednesday, Internet access doesn't seem likely for at least 2 weeks.
So, I'll miss the J-blogosphere- and I hope to be back really soon.

I'll leave you with a parting anecdote.

In the scurry and hurry of moving, moving again, really moving this time, and actually moving, our belongings have been transferred through so many boxes and suitcases we barely know what is what.

So, it wasn't surprising that today, we couldn't find our passports. Now that's really scary, since we are not Olim yet (new immigrants), and our passport is the only means of identification accepted in this country. We wouldn't be able to use the bank, or deal with any of our new apartment issues, or sign anything, or drive anything. So, we looked. And looked. And looked again. Nothing.

I started to panic, thinking we might have taken them with us somewhere and lost them, and they weren't even in the suitcases at all. Mr. NMF was searching our new apartment, while I was searching our old one, and both of us were worrying.

So what did I do? I donated money to the Kupa of R' Meir Baal Haness.

For those who don't know, R' Meir Baal Haness was a figure in the Gemara who is famous nowadays for saying that whoever calls out to Hashem in his name and gives charity in his merit will get what they are asking for. He's buried in Teveria (Tiberias) and I've visited his grave several times. His wife was the famous Bruria, a brilliant and wise woman in the Gemara.

Some people, including me, whenever they lose an object that is precious to them, donate money in R' Meir Baal Haness's name, and say this:

"Amar Rabi Binyomin, Hakol Bcheskas Sumin Ad sheHakadosh Boruch Hu Meir es Aynayhem." "Min Hacha? 'Vatifkach HaShem es Ayneha, Vataylech Vatimaleh es Hachaymes."

This means:

"So says Rabbi Binyomin: All is hidden from the eye until Hashem opens our eyes. How do we know? [because it says] 'And Hashem opened her [Hagar's] eyes, and she went and she filled her pitcher.'"

Then, the loshon continues:

"Eloka D'meir Anayni" - "May the God of Rabbi Meir [Baal Haness] answer me"- said three times.

"B'zchus Hatzedoka she'ani Nodayv L'ilui Nishmas Rabi Meir Baal HaNes, Zechuso Yogen Olaynu, L'mtzo es haAvayda sheAvaditi "

"In the zechus of the tzedaka that I will give in the merit of the soul of R' Meir Baal Haness, may his merit last forever, to find the item that I have lost."

So. I gave tzedaka, recited the formula, and the phone rang. Literally just then. I picked up, and Mr. NMF's first words to me were "I found it." Turns out that the passports were hiding in another suitcase, underneath some sefarim.

Anyone else believe in miracles?!

I've had this happen to me many times. I've lost earrings, car keys, cell phones- you name it, I've lost it- and I've found it, usually after giving tzedaka.
Hocus pocus? I highly doubt it. In the zechus of doing a mitzva in R' Meir's name, Hashem opens your eyes to find the object.

So, if you're stuck, try this. I believe it has to be done with a full heart- not just to find your lost object- but I know of many stories like this one. G-d controls everything in this world, down to what we see and what we don't see.

I once asked a teacher of mine that if the world has been explored, every last inch of it, how come we don't know where the Sambatyon river is (the famous river that throws stones except on Shabbos- the one that the 10 lost tribes are hidden behind.)

She answered that G-d doesn't want us to find it, and as such, our eyes are not opened to find it. Only G-d can let us see or not see, even if it is right under our noses.

Has anyone else out there tried this method?

Anyway. Take care, have a good week, and a good rest of the summer. May Hashem open all our eyes to always see and recognize the truth of all things.

Motzei Purim Recap

Just some wonderful thoughts about Purim in E"Y:

I made far too many shalach manos- but they came out beautifully- with a very cute theme. Oh well. I guess I'll have to find a way to use up my leftovers.

I didn't see so many drunkards acting wildly and insanely- I know they probably exist somewhere in Yerushalayim, but I didn't see quite so many.

There was the guy who grabbed Mr. NMF and asked if he was American. When the affirmative reply came back, the guy grabbed his shoulder and said, "Repeat after me: We Want Mashiach Now..."- and he totally didn't look Lubavitch.

There was the other random guy, pushing his twin children in a stroller, who clapped Mr. NMF on the back, and started giving him brachos, one after the other, until I, and this man's wife, pulled them apart.

There were some boys who came collecting, who were obviously drunk- but they knocked on my door when Mr. NMF wasn't home. I didn't check the peephole, and opened it...they started singing quite loudly and entering in the house.....but when I informed them my husband wasn't home, and neither was anyone else except a sleeping baby, they had enough presence of mind to accept the tzedaka money and leave quietly- very mentchlik while drunk.

The Purim seuda was wonderful, and the Divrei Torah were excellent. I learnt the different interpretations of L'Bisumei- and I'm partial to the Rama's approach of just drinking a bit more than usual, and then going to sleep. But, who am I to say anything?

Strange question that came up: Should women drink on Purim- do they have a chiuv to? "Af Hein B'Oso HaNeis"- they were also part of the miracle, so maybe they should drink a small amount. My reply would be that it might not be tznius, but I don't have a source.

Matanos L'Evyonim- this was done true E"Y style. A woman approached a friend of mine and confided in her that she's going collecting for herself on Purim. Why? She has 7 children, mostly learning disabled, a mentally-ill husband, and she can't pay her rent.

So, my friend took it upon herself to raise the money for this family. She figured that if she approached 2,000 people for a small amount, she could raise the money and save this woman the embarassment of going collecting for herself.

So, for 3 days before Purim, the children and parents of my neighborhood collected all over, in yeshivos, in other neighborhoods- they even got the haskama of a well-known rav to boost their credibility.

And, you know what? By Purim night (American- since some donations were American, they gave those on American Purim, and the shekels on Yerushalyim Purim- so that way everyone could fulfill the mitzva) we had raised 4 1/2 months rent. Yasher Koach to all those who donated.

Now my friend is talking about a major campaign to help this family get an apartment of their own- but who knows if that will come to fruition. Meanwhile, we accomplished something big and great, and truly helped someone in need.

Hope everyone had as wonderful a Purim as I did!!

Only In Israel #6- Neighbors and Taxis

Families share a lot of good times in their lives- but with that also comes sharing other things.

Last week, Mr. NMF got sick, then with heaping helpings of chicken soup and tea, he got better. Now, it seems, it's my turn. I'm just starting to feel almost better- complete with extra tea made by Mr. NMF (see- taking turns being sick works out for everyone!).

Then, my neighbor's daughter comes down with some nasty bug, and she nursed her back to health. Then my neighbor (Neighbor #1) fell sick. (Wow- it has truly been a LONG week.) She was really sick- stuck in bed, can't do much of anything, antibiotics sick.

I stopped over there, when I was feeling better, and saw Neighbor #2 cooking toast for Neighbor #1's kids, because Neighbor #1 was in bed and couldn't move. So I figured, hey, I can do something.
So the next night, I sent over a large supper- hot and tasty. (Spaghetti and meatballs, if you wanted to know.) And, thank G-d, today, Neighbor #1 is feeling much better.

It was funny though- because I've lived in places before where I didn't even know my neighbors! I didn't know their names, or how many kids they had, or when their next simcha was. I know that's not a unique concept- that one can know their neighbors outside of Israel, but it was a wonderful thing that we all know each other and are willing to help out when needed.

I was in a taxi, heading home to warm up the spaghetti and meatballs for Neighbor #1, when my taxi driver remarked on how there was absolutely no traffic, despite the fact that it was rush hour.
So, I remarked that it must be that Hashem knew I had to get home to make supper for Neighbor #1 who was sick, and therefore, Hashem cleared the way for me.

He thought about it (note: this taxi driver was not wearing a kippa), and said- that is probably very true. And it is so nice that you're helping Neighbor #1. I hope there are more people like you out there.

I asked him if his neighbors do things like that- and he says, sometimes, but he doesn't know most of his neighbors. But he's impressed that there exists neighbors who do exhibit these good behaviors.

So, he was happy that he got to his destination quickly, and he wished Neighbor #1 a Refuah Shleimah. I love hearing that from a taxi driver; it never gets old. No matter if they are religious or not, if they are Jewish, they care about other Jews. It's wonderful.
And so ends another OII moment. Or not- as this could happen anywhere. So, find out who your neighbors are, and get involved!

Reaction and Action

Firstly, I just wanted to list again this phone number - 02-581-1911- the number in Israel for R' Kook and R' Horowitz's hotline to get or send a name of a soldier in the IDF to daven/learn for. This is how Klal Yisroel fights battles- on the spiritual front as well, with davening, learning, and mitzvos.

On that note- I've noticed on a couple of sites the comment that if the study of Torah protects- then the yeshivos and people in the target areas should not be fleeing their homes and batei midrashos.
That's an interesting concept to me- so I first asked Mr. NMF. He said that we don't really rely on miracles to that extent- if it is a target zone, and they can move- then maybe they should. Then again, I'm not a Gadol, and that's a question that should be posed to a Rav.

I found an interesting article on Yeshiva World that explained why Tifrach's yeshiva is not moving, while other large yeshivos (the example given was Grodna) have moved. It's according to R' Elyashiv's psak.

But that's an example of how Klal Yisroel reacts- yet again. We head to our Gedolim, our leaders- minds and people who are steeped in Torah, and who are able to rule on such complex situations through a Torah perspective. It's a truly special concept when we realize that Torah, and the actions and reactions promulgated by the Torah govern our day to day lives.

Ever watched a Baal Teshuva make brachos (blessings)? It's like a gift being given to them- to connect with G-d and thank Hashem for all the good He has given to us. Ever watched a small child's pleasure at being able to learn a pasuk in Torah? It knows no boundaries.

Our reactions and actions are done according to the Torah view and mindset. It's a phenomenal concept.

And, another article from the Yeshiva World illustrates that. I have no idea how this family was able to rise to such a level- but to see them do it- it makes such an impression on how a Jew can act and behave. I don't know if I would have the inner strength to do such a thing- to say that, amidst a shiva house. But they did. And that's true greatness.

Edit: Found an excellent article on Aish.com- "Fighting the War With Our Mouths", by Sara Yoheved Rigler. This is the Jewish reaction- personified.

Erev Shabbos #9- Gaza Shabbos

I can't help it. Despite me putting the schnitzel up, and doing all the routine and mundane tasks of life, my head still swarms with the news from Sederot and Gaza.
How can I be enjoying a Shabbos in relative safety, when those who live in Sederot have 15 seconds to head to a bomb shelter?



I hope to try to do something to help, as do we all. My neighbor and I are talking about trying to open our homes to some of those in the South- we'll see if something actually works out.
Till then, a Gut Shabbos- and may all our brethren be safe and well!

Hechsherim- Help!!

Alright, I am thoroughly lost.
I come from America, okay? And not from NY- where there are all these strange hechsherim (kosher certification), like the chassidish hechshers, Kehilah Kashrus, the Lakewood hechsher, the others- I can't even keep those straight!

I come from out-of-town, where we rely on major national and international hechsherim, like the OU, the star-K, the circle-K, and so on.

And now- I'm here, in Israel. And thoroughly confused.

Belz Machzekei HaDaas, Agudas Yisroel, Petach Tikva Chasam Sofer, Bnei Brak Chasam Sofer, Landau, Badatz Aidah HaCharedit, Rubin...the list could go on forever.
And some hold by this, some hold by that- all agree that even the worst commonly- accepted (makes grammatical sense, I checked) Israeli hechsher is better than an American one (yep- heard that straight out from several people.)

To top it all off, I used to trust hechsherim. If the OU put a hechsher on something, I assumed they sent Mashgichim there, they checked it out, and then put a hechsher on the final product.

But here, it seems common that people find that the Badatz would put a hechsher on something, and later it's learned that they shouldn't have.

Or a hechsher is put on, but the company that put the hechsher on doesn't hold by it 100 percent. (Yep- heard this one from a reliable source too!)

I can barely figure out which ones I and my husband use, and then I get the phone calls from reliable friends- hey, new restaraunt- but it's under a hechsher that isn't the best...

To simplify, there is a website out- I just found it, after a few frustrating searches on the Internet for help. It's called Kosher In Jerusalem, and gives the hechsherim lists given out from Yeshivos/seminaries and Rabbinical organizations- like Aish, Neve, CRC, and so on.
So that helps a bit- at least it lists the organizers and which hechsherim are commonly held.

Still- a bunch of products that I use are not commonly held by others- like American products I can't find with a Badatz, but they have an OU...used in the US, but in Israel- a lower hechsher. I've tried to find an Israeli substitute- but to no avail. And my grocery store routinely stocks products with Sephardi hechsherim- stuff I know nothing about at all!

Anyone else have these hechsher problems? Any interesting stories about it?
I'd love to hear, because it's good to know I'm not the only one who needs Hechsher help!

Baruch Dayan HaEmet

UPDATE: Rachmana L'tzlan- the hostages in the Chabad house were brutally murdered- Hashem Yekom Damam.
The Rabbi, his wife, Rabbi Teitelbaum (T.A.Y. SIL), and three others are reported among those killed.
Such Tzaros for Klal Yisroel!! And they say that the Chabad house was a preselected target by the terrorists.
Oy. I'm weeping just hearing about it.

Please say tehillim for Gavriel Noach ben Freida Bluma (Rabbi Holtzberg), his wife (Rivka bas Yehudis) and all the other hostages in the Chabad-Lubavitch house in Mumbai. Two mashgichim are also being held hostage, one of them the son-in-law of the Toldos Aharon Yitzchak Rebbe.

For all those who want updates on the news- it seems that their son Moshe (2) has fled with one of the household help members, but the news on the Holtzbergs is still uncertain, as of Thursday afternoon, NY time. His grandparents have flown to Mumbai to try to ascertain the situation.

I'll try to post if I hear anything new.
For the news articles- try YWN here, or the NY Times here. Reports are saying 327 injured, and 125 killed.
Hashem should send a yeshua to all of those there.

Erev Shabbos #5

Here's my Erev Shabbos post for this week- as I seem to have a bit of time (I've been invited out for both meals- shame on me that I'm not cooking!!)

What to give as a gift for those you're going to?

When I was in Israel, for seminary, more often than not, the gift was store-bought food, usually candy or rugalach for the children, or a bottle of good wine for the parents. I tried to spend a minimal amount of money, yet invested time to make it look nice. And I always brought a gift, whether they said to or not- they appreciated it anyways.

I lived in NY for an extended period of time, and when I went out for Shabbos there- I also brought gifts, usually store-bought, but after a while, the families that I routinely went to, requested that I not bring gifts anymore- and they meant it.

Now, as I'm here in Israel- I still feel like I should bring gifts. But, these families with children probably wouldn't want a large amount of candy- or a bottle of wine. Oftentimes I find myself giving home-baked goods- like a cake on a platter, or cookies for the kids. Sometimes, with close friends, I even find myself offering a kugel or side dish for the meal- knowing how hard it is to cook a full Shabbos for many kids and guests.

I don't think I would have done that in the US- too many people are hechsher conscious of where their food comes from- so home-baked may not have been the best choice. But, it seems that in my neighborhood- everyone assumes that I use Badatz ingredients (which I do) and keep to high standards- so they are more than happy to take the delicious food, if I do say so myself :-)

So which is better? The store-bought, or the home-baked? Both probably show my degree of affection and gratefulness...but is one better than the other? Does home-baked show I put more time and thought into it- or was I just baking for myself and made extra? Does store-bought mean that I spent more money, and therefore it means more? Or does it show I was too lazy to do it myself?

Either way- it seems that it's nice to give a gift to those you head to for Shabbos.

So, I'm off to bake a cake or two.
Have a Gut Shabbos!

Frustrated

Okay, I'm using this blog to vent a little bit.

I read this post on Aidel Knaidel....and it kinda bugged me a bit. I live in a neighborhood where there are not so many young kollel couples- so I don't have much to judge myself against- as to why I'm not pushing a baby stroller yet, or the latest fashions, or the shiur I just HAD to attend- or else be ostracized from the N'shei of the community.

If you do live in those communities- don't get JEALOUS. DO something instead! Read my post about tzedaka- and get involved!! Want a child- help others with children, be a mom for a day- substitute for the amazing ganenet in your neighborhood when she needs help- for free. Work in a soup kitchen, volunteer at Yad Eliezer....the possibilities are endless.

I'm frustrated because I try to view a time without children as a time to help those who have children, as a time to offer my services, because I don't have major demands on my time yet. I'm blessed to be married- and that didn't happen the year after sem either!

So, yeah- I'm slightly frustrated. But I'm grateful for what I have. Thank You Hashem, for giving me the ability to help others, and eventually, be"H, if sometime I need help in the future, I'll have someone who might want to give to me.

Charity Begins At Home

I lived for a couple years in NY, where I met my husband. During that time period, I had occasion to go shopping for clothing, and as is the custom in my family, whenever I buy something new, I have to give away something old. Not necessarily old, just something that doesn't fit, seems to have one too many stains, or something that I bought on sale, intending to wear, yet it never seemed to match anything.

So, I trotted down to my neighbor to ask her where there was a gemach in NY for used clothes. She shrugged her shoulders and said that she doesn't know of any.

So I asked someone else- again, same response.
One person said she knows one family who collects shoes, but not clothing. And the shoes have to be brand new.

I kept asking, and asking- no one seemed to have a clue. There were no drives going on, no advertisements for a giant collecting agency, or for a day to drop gently used clothing off. Nothing.

So, I sent my clothing back to my home town, where there is a dedicated woman who operates a clothing collection out of one room in her house, and sends it to Israel. It's done anonymously, she just receives garbage bags at her front door, and then sends it off.

Shame. I wish I could have given to an NY gemach, but I guess that they are much harder to find.

Israel on the other hand- is totally the opposite. I received a letter just yesterday, advertising the used clothing collection place in my neighborhood. Open up a directory- the Israeli one, or the Newcomer's Guide- and you'll see thousands of gemachs, hundreds of clothing collection agencies- and some for things I never would have thought of. Free loan funds- check. Gowns for chasunas- check.

But have you ever heard of a breast milk gemach? That one startled me a bit- until I heard about the family that runs it.

It seems that there are babies born who's mothers don't have enough milk for them. Not only that, but some of these babies have major allergies, to common food products- making them allergic to most formulas.

So, this family started a gemach. Nursing mothers, who are willing to go on a strict diet (no wheat, soy, sugar, dairy, specific vegetables....) do that for 2-3 days, and then pump extra milk for these babies. The milk goes to this family, where they store it, and then give it to those babies in need. That way, they can live on breast milk, which is perfect for their digestive systems, until they can figure out a way past their allergies.

Who would have thought of this? First of all, the family that did- is exceptional- thinking of something like that, and then implementing it. Second of all- the mothers that do this are also exceptional- not eating their favorite foods, and not for their own child, but for someone else's.

Mi K'amcha Yisroel.

Here are some phenomenal articles about charity in Israel- from Aish.com if you're interested in further reading- and if you're looking for a worthwhile charitable contribution):

The Chicken Lady, Mission to Care, Dining with Dignity, Out of the Mouth of Roni(ZAKA), Jerusalem's Supermen, Henny's Secret (Machlis Family)

Covering Up

I'm married, as you may have guessed- by my references to Mr. NMF, and by what it says on my profile.

When I got married, as I have grown up frum, I knew I would be covering my hair, and like the community which I lived in, that would usually comprise of buying a shaitel.

My mother wears shaitels (wigs), along with falls, berets, or hats outside the house, while snoods, and comfortable Israeli scarves inside the house. So, when I got married- I assumed I would do the same.

Hats were not really my style, or the style of the community in which I or my husband lived- and snoods were not commonly worn outside the house, as they were perceived as too casual.

Most people wore falls, or shaitels outside the house, while they reserved a comfortable pre-tied bandanna, or snoods inside the house. I also love Israeli scarves- they are the easiest for me to slip on inside the house, and the most comfortable to sleep in.

So, I wore a fall, and wore a shaitel for Shabbos- leaving my snoods inside the house, and my scarves just for sleeping. The shaitel was hot, and tiring, especially since I always had long hair growing up, so I wanted a long shaitel as well. I ended up clipping my shaitel into a banana clip or ponytail quite a bit, simply to escape from the heat.

And then I moved to Israel. I continued wearing my shaitel, and shvitzing, and watching it oxidize in the gorgeous sunshine. And then it hit me. I'm not in the US any more. So I started to watch and see.

My neighbors are mothers with kids- they wear snoods outside, almost all the time. I only see shaitels on Shabbos. Some are Sephardi- with the gorgeous scarves wrapped so elegantly. Some come from more chassidishe homes, with long scarves or cloths wrapped around every inch.
When I head to more JAPpy neighborhoods (Jewish American Princess, for those who don't know.) I see the women wearing shaitels, but mostly ponytail ones or really short- to deal with the heat.

And I said- Why in heaven's name am I wearing a shaitel? Why do I persist in wearing a long shaitel when there are thousands of stunning bandannas, scarves, tichels, snoods, and other beautiful items to wear? I belong to a community now where most women wear snoods- and they're right! It's hot outside! There are kids to worry about and places to go, work to do and people to see- wear something beautiful, colorful, and stylish- wear a snood, a scarf, a beret- but why wear a shaitel? Shaitels are beautiful as well- but can be saved for Shabbos!

And to think it took me so long to realize this- that there are so many Yidden here in Israel, and so many different ways that they all cover their hair- so many minhagim, so many different viewpoints- (for more information- read the fascinating book Hide and Seek by Lynne Schreiber, or Oz V'Hadar Levusha's section on hair covering (I know- I said the dreaded book's name- don't stone me.) )

So as of right now- I'm wearing a beautiful pink snood- excellently complementing what I'm wearing. And- I'm proud of it! I even walked into the JAP neighborhood, and had some stares- by all the shaitel wearers, but most just ignored- since there are so many different women all covering their hair different ways, everyone just gets used to it.

Mi K'amcha Yisroel- we women can all look beautiful, stylish, and gorgeous- while still listening to the Torah's precepts and covering our heads.

Only In Israel #1

I love Israel!! There are so many good things about it- it would take forever to describe.
So, I decided to start a new label- OII- Only In Israel happenings, that occur to me (usually) around a daily basis.

Yesterday, I was asked to visit a certain rav, who lives at the bottom of my neighborhood, while my apartment is at the top of the hill, affording me a beautiful view of Harei Yerushalayim (mountains of Jerusalem). So, off I went- and foolishly did not take anything with me except my cell phone and keys.

My walk down was uneventful, until I got to a major hill right before the rav's house. There, while talking on my cell phone, my cell phone dies suddenly. I'm so confused by this occurance, that I neglected to watch where I was going, and tripped, rolling down the hill a bit. Ouch.

B"H- nothing major happened- a bit bruised up, but quite alright. And, I continued to the rav's house.

On my way back, I climbed up that hill, and then the next hill, and the next. By the third, I started to get tired, and wished I had brought my bus pass. The ankle that I had tripped on started to hurt- and I paused to rest in the middle of the hill.

I see a taxi- from Monit HaTzomet- driving rather slowly behind me, as if he thinks I have money and I'll take him. But I don't- so I kept walking. At this point, he's basically trailing behind me, while I stop at the next bench to check how my foot is doing.

He opens his window and says, "Geveret (ma'am) would you like a ride?"

So, I, the honest person say- "Todah (thank you), but I don't have any money on me."

So he- the nice Kippah Srugah wearing taxi driver- says, "Who cares?! Come on in, I'll give you a lift!"

I'm shocked- as most taxis are searching for people who can actually pay. So I respond again, "But I don't have any cash on me."

"Mah Baayah (what's the problem)?" he responds, and lets me hop on in.

I asked him to take me just up the hill (so at least I would be on level ground for the last part till my apartment, and he joked with me that he thought I wanted to head to Bnai Brak! He would have taken me all the way home, but I felt it was too much of an imposition- as he was doing this for FREE.

I asked him his name on the way out- Itzik- and thanked him profusely. He wished me a good night, and that I should feel good (Tehei Briah- you should be healthy?= not the best translation, but that's what it means.)

How many NY cab drivers would stop for a tired pedestrian?

How many cab drivers at all would gladly do it- even if the pedestrian stated that they had no money?

Only In ISRAEL!! (Oh, and if you see a Monit HaTzomet taxi driver who's name is Itzik- tell him thank you again!)

Blog Reading while Sick

Okay, another nice thing about being sick is that I get to catch up on my blog reading, and something caught my eye. FrumSkeptic had a post (put up in August) about fasting while pregnant, and the topic interested me.

I have consulted with some rabbis and my own personal OB-GYN in the past about this, but being here, I also wondered about the Israel aspect- as Tisha B'Av in E"Y comes out in the hot summer months, making it fairly easy to dehydrate (especially for a pregnant woman). When I first arrived here, I dehydrated fairly rapidly- and was advised to drink a cup of something every hour. After asking a doctor, he said that in the heat here- a pregnant woman should drink 2 cups every hour, to prevent early contractions.

So, what about fasting here? Well- disclaimer- everyone should ask their own local posek and doctor for their own personal conditions and situation.

I found out that according to my OB, pregnant women shouldn't fast on the minor days, and the rabbis that I consulted backed that up.

As for Tisha B'Av and Yom Kippur- the OB said it all depends how a pregnant woman feels, but she can fast. If she ends up having ANY symptoms at all- she should consult her rabbi.

Consulting with rabbis also got the answer that a pregnant woman can fast- with the same idea as the OB- any symptoms and a rav should be called.

But, interestingly, Tisha B'Av is more likely to give a pregnant woman a heter to eat than Yom Kippur- because of those hot summer months! And, we change the clock here right before Yom Kippur, so the fast ends at about 5. (A pregnant woman would miss drinking, breakfast, and lunch. )

Remarked upon was the fact that the fetus takes the nourishment from the mother whether or not the mother is eating- a baby will take, whether or not it is being replenished. Dehydration is more of the problem- as the amniotic fluid the baby needs is dependant on that, and it can begin early contractions, so most of the rabbanim, if one finds that there is a problem on the two major fast days, might allow drinking faster than eating.

All the rabbis that I consulted said that it depends on the woman- how she feels, what is her history, and what is the situation at that point. Someone may be given a heter, and someone else may be denied one.

Interesting, no? No rabbi had said, like in FS's post- that one should fast to the point of miscarriage. No doctor had said that it was completely and unequivocally impossible that a pregnant woman could fast.

Maybe the large percentage of the Jewish population in Israel, and more rabbis who are willing to consult with doctors, and vice versa, have provided both with the necessary teamwork to come to similar opinions, and ones that agree with halacha and medical science as well.

Rain, Rain, Baruch Hashem (Thank G-d)

I peer outside my window- yet another gloomy, rainy day in Yerushalyim. Baruch Hashem.

I mean, we do start praying for rain, and here it is.

The farmers need it desperately, especially since Shmitta is now over and they can plant again.
And the water supply in the Kinneret is quite low- so we need it as well.

So, we all say, thank G-d it's raining, but it's so miserable outside!

The rain turns my Yerushalayim of gold into a gray sky, complete with storm clouds hovering.

All the Israelis turn to their winter clothes- light sweaters and rain coats, complete with hoods.

And the kids have fun trying out the slip and slide down the hills of their neighborhood.

It's a strange concept, no? Here we pray for rain, and we need it- yet we, the people, don't necessarily enjoy the rainy season.

And heaven forbid we say that- it's always said, "Oh, what a rainy, gross day- Thank G-d."
Rain is a blessing, whether or not we see it as that.

Ugh. I'm staying home and drinking hot cocoa. But, thank G-d for the rain.

A Lebedik Time

Weddings are beautiful- no matter where the country/city/hall is....but Eretz Yisroel chasunas (weddings) have a special flavor all their own.
I've been to weddings all over the United States, but Israel's weddings have a certain 'lebedik' flavor all their own.

Some of my friends have had their weddings in Bnai Brak- and in the furnishings and the music, there was no difference between that and a wedding at a hall in Williamsburg, NY.
In Yerushalayim, there is no actual 'music' at a wedding, due to mourning the destruction of the Bais HaMikdash (holy Temple), but there usually is one instrument- the drums, and some vocals.

I attended a wedding today- simply beautiful. The kallah (bride) looked radiant, and all the men sang together (since it was in Yerushalyim, so no music) as they walked the chasan (groom) down to place the veil on her head.

The chuppah (wedding canopy) was outside, like all Eretz Yisroel weddings, which was a distinct contrast to the US, where some chuppahs are outside, and some indoors, usually under a skylight. You could see the inky black sky of Yerushalayim, complete with the buses heading back and forth during the duration of the ceremony.

The dancing was lively and lebedik. In Israel, weddings are very casual, and sometimes many people show up, often times not invited, and most people aren't dressed that fancily.

But, it doesn't matter- because the whole point is to be 'Mesameach Chasan V'Kallah"- gladden the bride and the groom. People can be squished, the dance floor could be tiny, and there are beautiful little children running around. But there's a true simcha, a true happiness all around, celebrating the building of this new home in Israel- this Bayis Ne'eman.

No one really cared what was served, or which flowers were on the table (although this wedding had stunning lily arrangements)- all that mattered was sharing this happy night with both families.

I have seen weddings where an orphan is wed, and close to 300 people have shown up- not that they know the bride or groom, but just to join in and make them happy.
I have seen weddings where there is no room to breathe, but more keep coming in, and performing the most amazing tricks and 'shtick' to make the bride and groom smile.
Eretz Yisroel is truly phenomenal, and their weddings exemplify that- true simcha.

The Succos Case Files

Succos, the holiday, has several important components.

A. The Succah- meant to be built by the carpenter in the family, or if lacking that- the next best thing- whoever has a slight idea how to use power tools. In Israel- that would be the 9 year old boys, desperately trying to help their fathers and other assorted family members put the large wooden boards up (or just taking the power tools and doing it themselves).

B. The Decorations- usually created by young hands every year, and the best ones are painstakingly saved and laminateed by doting mothers, waiting to be hung up again. In Israel, this includes the white material- B'ad Lavan- used to line the walls of every wooden succah. Some of the American Israelis would actually prefer wood, but their Israeli kids are insistant.

C. The Schach- this is made easy in Israel. In the US, I spent my formative days trying to fling delicious smelling evergreen on the top of a very high succah. Here, just roll out the bamboo mat, and you're done. Or, get the fresh cut palm tree leaves, provided by the Iriah (city municipality).

D. The Arba Minim (four species)- This could use several paragraphs. Suffice it to say that a new baalas teshuva once walked into a Jewish bookstore before Succos- and was shocked to see all the men wearing mostly black, staring with jewelers' loops of every size at yellow fruit and green branches. She walked out- and called her rabbi. "You mean they do this every year?"

Here in Israel- the Arba Minim Shuks (markets) abound. The Badatz one is on Strauss near Geulah, and there are local ones in every neighborhood. Some will let you open packages, some sell pre-created sets, and others are for those looking for a 'metziah'- bargain.

Esrog Shopping is another idea- but here in Shmitta year, it becomes a whole different idea.
Mr. NMF went to an orchard- declared hefker (ownerless) for Shmitta year, and came home with four esrogim. Cool, no? (He did pay for the upkeep of the orchard by the Bais Din, which protected some of the esrogim from thorns).

And thus continues the ever-expanding case files of Succos.

Kaparos

Just thought I'd remark on something interesting.

The last time I 'shlugged' kaparos before Yom Kippur, I went to the Kaparos stand by the Zion Blumenthal Orphanage- right by Strauss/Yirmiyahu near the main bus stops and the bazaar- right before Kikar Shabbat and the Katzenburg bakery (I just love their koskosh cake).

This year, I decided to go again- as they always behave mentchlik- they're honest, considerate of women as well as the men (like not allowing cutting in line, and not being shy of talking to a woman who just wants to come to do kaparos). They also perform the kaparos for anyone that is too squeamish to touch a chicken (what did their ancestors do, I wonder?)

I also found that this year- maybe due to the scandal that erupted regarding how the chickens used for kaparos were treated (some were used twice, some were schected and left to rot...) they tried to be very neat, organized, and even let the chickens have a pen to run around in before being used for Kaparos.

Definitely a Kiddush Hashem in my eyes as to how well they treated all people there- as well as how they treated the animals.