Tuesday, November 25, 2008


Okay, I'm using this blog to vent a little bit.

I read this post on Aidel Knaidel....and it kinda bugged me a bit. I live in a neighborhood where there are not so many young kollel couples- so I don't have much to judge myself against- as to why I'm not pushing a baby stroller yet, or the latest fashions, or the shiur I just HAD to attend- or else be ostracized from the N'shei of the community.

If you do live in those communities- don't get JEALOUS. DO something instead! Read my post about tzedaka- and get involved!! Want a child- help others with children, be a mom for a day- substitute for the amazing ganenet in your neighborhood when she needs help- for free. Work in a soup kitchen, volunteer at Yad Eliezer....the possibilities are endless.

I'm frustrated because I try to view a time without children as a time to help those who have children, as a time to offer my services, because I don't have major demands on my time yet. I'm blessed to be married- and that didn't happen the year after sem either!

So, yeah- I'm slightly frustrated. But I'm grateful for what I have. Thank You Hashem, for giving me the ability to help others, and eventually, be"H, if sometime I need help in the future, I'll have someone who might want to give to me.


arnie draiman said...

wishing you nothing but the best. Hashem is great. and does work mysteriously, but only because we can't understand.

arnie draiman

AidelKnaidel said...

Im sorry that my post frustrated you. Like I said, I'm really not that type of girl. The one who needs everything because everyone else has it. You would never catch me with a 300 dollar headband or a bugaboo carriage.

I do live in a young neighborhood. Whats more, is that our of my ten or eleven friends, all whom married around the same time as me, all but one are pregnant. As are most of my acqaintences. People think it is strange that there are so many girls my age who got married and all b"h were blessed so fast. And again, I don't think that I want it because they have it. I want it for myself, but I guess its exxagerated because I feel like I am the one left on the wayside. And yes, it hurts sometimes.

Yes, I do try to use my time to the fullest. I babysit and help my friends who have children, and those that don't feel well because they are expecting. I never said that I sit around waiting. I'm doing. I'm busy. Maybe we are just not alike in that manner.

It was just a vent. It was something that I felt strongly that day. And something I felt I needed to write about. May we both be blessed in everything and see the good and do much good in E'Y. (And yes, I do have a hard time in EY sometimes because I miss my family...)

nmf #7 said...

Arnie Draiman- thank you for your kind wishes! It's good to have a solid perspective on these things.

Aidel Knaidel- Sorry bout that- I guess I also needed to vent. Thanks for responding in such a nice way.

It is very hard- believe me, I know. It was hard for me in a different way- I was in shidduchim for longer than many of my contemporaries, and I was very saddeded by it, and quite jealous. I did use my time productively, but I can hear where you are coming from. Everyone you see seems to be on that 'next stage of life', but you are 'on the wayside'- don't worry.

There are others who are there too, and be"H- your time will come. Then the little one will keep you too busy to even worry about what everyone else has.

Glad to hear you are keeping busy- it never helps not to be busy...

I'm so sorry you miss your family- that's one of the hardest things about living here.

Thank you for your good wishes- AMEN and you too! And, iy"H, you should be on that stage of life very soon!