Wow, this has been a crazy week. NBD is really sick- a cold turned into bronchitis- and so I've been in full Ima mode. So, when two of our wonderful neighbors invited us out for both meals, this made my Erev Shabbos into a non-cooking week, allowing me to catch my breath.
When my husband and I were in our first year of marriage, we managed to maintain a good balance. Sometimes going out, sometimes eating at home, sometimes traveling to another state- we were bounced around while we were living in the US.
I had already been away from home for the 3 years before that, and Mr. NMF had been away for 5, so we were kind of used to going from one place to another, packing up suitcases, and generally never knowing where to place our aching heads.
So that was what I looked forward to when I came to Israel: a home. I was so grateful to never have to go out for meals, never have to visit anyone, just relax and enjoy my own Shabbos table. I think we stayed home for weeks upon weeks, before accepting an invitation to go out for a meal, and then hurry home to our couch.
So, when I called up a friend of mine, I was shocked to learn that she, who has been married for 6 months, has never made her own Shabbos meal. Her in-laws and parents live close by, and they always expect the young couple to show up for all the meals, if not to sleep by them as well.
And, she enjoys it. Never having to cook, prepare, serve, wash, clean up- all of this was taken care of for her. As she put it to me, eventually the young couple would no longer be so young, and they iy"H would have a brood to take care of. So, until that time, the parental units were getting the pleasure of having the couple come over while they could.
That was such an interesting concept to me- to enjoy going out, rather than staying at home. I was so grateful not to have to shlep all over the universe, while she was enjoying every second of shlepping.
Each to his or her own. But this week, I'm very grateful not to have to prepare. NBD is going to want to be held once she wakes up from her nap, and that leaves me with almost no hands to do anything. So thank you kind neighbors. We look forward to seeing you.
A Gut Shabbos Everyone!
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2 days ago
5 comments:
Its all about balance - without having to organise things at home, a newly married couple will never learn the basics of Shabbat, not just by having done for them.
At the same time, its also great to go out, though it can be a little stressful once there's a brood to take care of! its particularly nice, though, to sleep in one's own bed and not have to operate on the timetable of others!
Sounds like you have it about right so enjoy your meals out this weekend and hopefully NBD will achieve a speedy and full recovery!
Shabbat shalom
Anon613-London
It is all about balance, yes. But everyone has their own balance, and there really is no wrong or right.
I'm like you--the Shabbos after our Sheva Brachos we were cooking up a storm (much to the chagrin of my parents, who were wishing we could come to them...lol.)
I love to stay home and do my own thing for Shabbos. But it is nice to be invited out on occasion. Besides the wonderful company of people you love and appreciate, that break from cooking and cleaning can be a nice treat :-)
I'd much rather stay home myself, but not everyone is like that...
It IS about balance, and for me..if I weigh the two sides...cooking vs. shlepping out, going by someone else's schedule, shlepping back...or even worse...packing and unpacking...staying home and cooking wins.
Both are nice, guess it's in the perspective and how we view things
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